


Take You To Heaven

by PastelPrincess96



Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: Angst, Domestic Violence, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Minor Character Death, Romance, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-07
Updated: 2017-11-21
Packaged: 2018-11-29 02:12:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 42,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11431017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PastelPrincess96/pseuds/PastelPrincess96
Summary: How will the Shelby family react when they see Brianna Smith for the first time since the war?'I've been flying through the clouds alone, looking for somebody to hold, and you're here, you're here, and I keep on falling'(Title inspired by Nina Nesbitt's song of the same name)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, this is my first time posting a story on here, so please be gentle with me!

Polly was not expecting to find anyone in the church that Thursday evening. She was never expecting to find anyone in the church, but it was even rare in the evenings, which was why she liked going at that time. She did not see anyone at first, going straight to the front to light her candle. However, once she turned to find a pew to sit in she spotted a shadow in the middle row of the pews. Polly stepped forward, getting more light to see if she could tell who it was. She was surprised to see it was Brianna Smith, a girl she had not seen since before the war. Polly still thought of her as a girl, she was 16 the last time she had seen Brianna and her family, but that was six years ago now, Brianna would be pushing 22 now. She did not look all that different, except for a few noticeable changes. She had lost the puffiness of youth from her face and body, her hair was shorter now, reaching just below her shoulders. Her hair was still a rich brown colour, and she was just as pretty as she always had been, but there was something else that was different about her. Polly could not pinpoint what it was, but she could that there was something amiss about the young girl, and not just the fact that she was sat in the church this Thursday evening. 

Brianna either had not noticed Polly yet, or was ignoring her, as she had not looked up from her lap since Polly had spotted her. Polly could see her lips moving ever so slightly, so guessed Brianna was doing her best to pray. Not wanting to interrupt her, but also not wanting to ignore her herself, Polly begin to walk toward the pew that Brianna was sat in. She must have made enough noise, as she saw Brianna’s lips stop moving and her shoulders tense up. Although, Brianna still did not look up from lap, waiting to see whether whoever it was would approach her further. 

“Brianna?” Polly asked, wanting to finally speak to the girl.

Brianna recognised the voice, but could not place who it belonged to, so she decided to finally look up. When she did, the voice finally clicked. 

“Polly?” Brianna’s brow furrowed, not expecting to see anyone in the church at this time, especially not the woman who her mother used to gossip so frequently about. 

Polly smiled gently, “Hello love, haven’t seen you around in a while.” Brianna gave a terse smile at that, that was her intention.

“I know yeah, haven’t really been getting out much. Things at home are different now.” Brianna blushed, fearing she had said too much she lowered eyes hiding any emotion that shone through.

“I can imagine. The war changed every home.” Polly said, wanting Brianna to look back up at her, to see if she could read any emotion in her eyes.

“Yeah, yeah, the war.” Brianna said, unaware that the faraway lilt to her voice was giving away more than she wanted. Polly stared at the side of Brianna’s head, willing her to look up. She wanted to understand the feeling behind the tone. 

“You should come by the house sometime; I’m sure Ada would love to see you. I know I’d love a real catch up.” Polly said. Brianna looked up with a sheen in her eyes Polly was surprised to see there. She looked close to tears.

“Yeah,” Brianna coughed, clearing the crack of emotion in her voice, “yeah, that would be good.”

Polly smiled, hoping to ease the clearly emotional girl in front of her. Who knew a casual invitation would cause such a reaction? Before Polly could say anymore, Brianna stood up.

“I should really be on my way now. It was nice seeing you Polly. Sorry for interrupting your prayers.” Brianna said, rushing past Polly to make a quick exit. Polly’s eyes followed Brianna as she walked out, she was thoroughly confused. Polly was the one who interrupted Brianna’s time, not the other way around. Brianna was never the centre of attention before the war, but she had never acted like this. Polly began to wonder what had happened to Brianna, and the rest of her family, in the past six years.


	2. Chapter 2

Brianna was walking through the market a week later when she next saw Polly. She had yet to follow Polly’s invitation to go to the house for catch up. It wasn’t that she did not want to, it was that she did not want to discuss what would inevitably come up during the talking. Her family was sure to be the first topic Polly or Ada asked about, and she really did not want to start talking about them. 

Brianna had turned to pick up a loaf of bread, trying to make sure Polly didn’t see her when she heard her name being quietly called. This time she recognised the voice straight away. Her plan had not worked. Brianna turned slowly, still hoping it was not who she thought it was.

“Hello Polly.” Brianna sighed, disappointed she had been spotted.

“Hello love” Polly said, trying to catch Brianna’s eye, “you never came for a visit.”

“I know, sorry. I’ve been busy” Brianna looked down into her basket, trying to disguise her lie.

Polly sighed, not believing her. “Well, what are doing now?”

“Oh, I just came for a look around the market.”

“So, you’re not really busy?” Polly asked.

Brianna suddenly looked up in panic, “oh, well, I still need to pick up a few bits…” Brianna’s eyes began franticly looking around, looking for any excuse she might be able to use.

“Nonsense, you’ve got some things, you can come back tomorrow for anything else, or we could send Finn out for you. I’m not taking no for an answer this time. Ada should be in, and we might get lucky and catch a glimpse of one of the lads,” Polly linked her arm through Brianna’s and began dragging her away from the market and towards the house. “Now come on love, don’t be scared.”

'Oh Polly' Brianna thought, 'if only I could be'. Brianna sighed and began mentally preparing herself before she was thrust into the Shelby house for the first time in years. 'Everything will be fine,' she thought, 'they won’t hurt me'.   
-  
It was only a short walk to the Shelby house, which gave Brianna no time to prepare at all. She hid her shaking hands from Polly as she opened the door that led into the kitchen. 

“Make yourself at home darling,” Polly said, gesturing to the table and chairs in the centre of the kitchen. Brianna hesitantly walked towards the chair at the head of the table, the one that faced the rest of the room. Just as Brianna sat down Polly shouted for Ada upstairs, making her jump, not helping her nerves. 

“She’ll be down in a minute,” Polly said walking to put the kettle on. “Tea?”

“Yes please,” Brianna whispered, placing her hands delicately on the table in front of her. After Polly placed the kettle on the stove, she turned to face Brianna. The girl was sat rigidly in her chair, and had her hands placed in the table as if she were in a meeting. Polly’s brow furrowed, not used to seeing Brianna look so uncomfortable in this setting before. She never came to the house often, but when she did she usually looked her most relaxed, as if it was a second home to her. Polly sighed, not knowing what to do to help. Hopefully Ada would put her at ease.

As the kettle began to boil there was distinctive noise of someone stomping down the stairs. Polly began making the tea just as Ada finally rounded down the last step.

“What did you want Pol?” She asked, not noticing Brianna at first. Polly turned and nodded her head towards the table. When Ada turned, her eyes went wide with shock. “Oh my god! Brianna!” Ada rushed to the table, holding her arms out to hug Brianna.

Brianna gave a small smile and stood to greet Ada. She froze slightly when Ada hugged her, not expecting the welcome to be so warm and all encompassing. When Ada finally pulled away, Brianna gave her another small smile and sat back down. 

“Hello Ada.” Ada’s smile fell slightly at the reaction to her hug, followed by the formal greeting. She recovered before Brianna could see, not wanting her to feel uncomfortable. 

“What are you doing here? I haven’t seen you in so long,” Ada asked, sitting in the chair next to Brianna. 

“Polly invited me for tea.”

“A week ago,” Polly muttered as she placed the tea on the table. Brianna blushed. 

“Sorry,” Brianna whispered. 

“It’s okay love, you’re here now right?” Polly said with a gentle smile, that Brianna returned. Each woman sorted their cups of tea out in silence, unsure where to take the conversation.

“So,” Ada began, thinking of a way to make Brianna talk, “what have you been up to these past few years?”

“Oh, not much. With the war I just helped around town where I could. I was too young to join any real volunteer groups, so I really couldn’t make much of a difference.”

“I’m sure whatever you did was appreciated,” Polly said, also trying to make Brianna look more comfortable. She had still not relaxed since sitting down. 

“Did your dad get drafted?” Ada suddenly asked, hoping that question would Brianna to open up a bit. Polly just shot her a look, whilst she understood why Ada asked the question, she could be a tad insensitive sometimes. 

“Yes,” Brianna whispered, looking down to her hands, seeming to close up further. Ada blushed, sensing that her question was not the best one to bring up, but she could not think of what else to talk about. Ada quickly began trying to think of something else to ask. “Oh, how’s your sister?”

Brianna began picking at her finger nails at the question, she had been praying that question would not come up. She was thinking of the best way to answer, when the double doors to the left of the room swung open. 

“Right!” A loud voice said as the doors smacked against the wall. “Where’s me dinner Pol?” The voice asked, its owner hidden by the wall. Whilst the volume made Brianna jump, something that Polly took note of, she breathed a sigh of relief of not having to talk about her sister. 

“It’s in the fridge waiting for you to make it,” Ada replied with a roll of her eyes, as Arthur came through the doors, shortly followed by John, and then Tommy. Brianna held her breath seeing the illusive Shelby brothers for the first time since before the war. 

“Who’s this?” John nodded at Brianna, fiddling with the toothpick in his mouth. The other two turned to look at her as well, causing Brianna’s blush to go a deeper a shade of red at the scrutiny of their gazes. 

Polly rolled her eyes, “Surely you remember Brianna Smith boys?” The brothers began looking at her more closely, recognising the name.

“This is never little Brianna Smith? One of Henry’s little girls?” Arthur said, struggling to connect the younger girl he remembered to the more matured woman in front of him.

“That’s me,” Brianna said gently, uncomfortable with all the attention on her. 

“Wow, you’ve certainly grown up! Hasn’t she lads?” Arthur said, causing both Ada and Polly to roll their eyes again. Brianna looked away from the brothers, even more uncomfortable now. She heard someone whisper “I’ll say”, before the brothers began making more noise in search of some food. 

Not wanting to out stay her welcome, and needing to get somewhere without as many eyes, Brianna began to stand. This only caused all the eyes in the room to fall on her again. Brianna coughed a little, making sure her throat was clear before speaking.

“This has been lovely Polly, but I must be going now” Brianna said, politely as ever. 

“But we’ve barely had the chance to talk! You didn’t tell me what your sister was doing now” Ada argued, wanting to talk to her old friend more.

“Let the girl leave Ada, we’ll see her again soon, right?” Polly said, looking towards Brianna with a small smile and a nod. Brianna looked at men in the room, who were staring at her from their various places around the room, back to Polly and gave a small nod. Polly understood why she wanted to leave, and made a note to make sure the lads were out next she invited Brianna around. 

“I’ll see you soon Ada,” Brianna promised, knowing she wouldn’t escape either woman in the room after this. Brianna collected her shopping from the market, and made her way to the door. She heard the noise pick up in the room again as the family began arguing about food. As she reached the door, she felt eyes on her again, and couldn’t help but look back. She was not expecting to be caught in the intense stare of Tommy Shelby. Brianna stared back for minute, unsure why he was looking at her so intently. Not sure how to carry on, Brianna gave Tommy a tight smile and broke their stare. Once she was finally out of the house Brianna took a few deep breaths to steady herself, but she knew she would back there sooner rather than later.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit more insight into Brianna's background and home life. Sorry for any typos!

Brianna took the long way back to her house, wanting to delay the inevitable greeting she would receive on her return. Whilst walking through the side streets she began to think about the infamous Shelby family. Polly and Ada really hadn’t changed much, but the boys had. They all looked much older now, their faces lined with the markings of war, much like her father and the other men she had seen return. Even with the clear signs of aging, Brianna thought they were all still as handsome as before they left. The boys had been known around town as heartbreakers before, especially Tommy. The other two broke hearts by being with many women, but Tommy broke hearts by being with no one. There were rumours of a few dalliances, some of which Brianna had seen herself when she was at the house, but otherwise Tommy was always seen alone. Many of the girls she went to school with used to giggle and gossip about the Shelby brothers, and with Tommy usually being the most talked about. His baby blue eyes and clean cut bone structure made him the school girl favourite, Brianna included. 

Once John began to settle down with Martha, and it became clear that Arthur would go with anyone, everyone became more enamoured with Tommy. Again, Brianna was included. As the boys were a few years older than her, she was aware they would never see her as more than a little girl; but it did not stop her fantasising though. When Brianna started to get older, her feelings for Tommy had grown stronger, not helped by the fact her sister and Ada were strong friends. Their friendship meant that Brianna was often also invited around to the Shelby’s, usually to be out of her parent’s way. She tried to remain as inconspicuous as possible, usually by reading in the corner of the room, but her eyes were always swayed whenever Tommy would enter the room. He never spared her glance, but her teenage heart held onto some hope that he would notice her one day. However, that hope was shattered when the war came about. Everyone’s lives were turned upside-down, and Brianna had not set foot in the Shelby house again, until now. Now she was faced with reality of being asked questions, questions she would not know how to answer, questions about her sister. 

Brianna was wondering how long she could keep information about her sister from Ada and Polly, when she saw her house come into view at the end of the street she was walking down. She clutched her basket tighter, and took a deep breath, before walking the final distance to her front door. 

Once inside, Brianna was greeted by the sound of silence, which was not uncommon for her these days. The house had never gained back the vibrancy it had before the war. Sometimes the silence meant Brianna was alone, which was always the best scenario for her. She could escape to her room quicker and not have to see anyone. However, sometimes the silence meant someone was waiting for her, and that was always the worst scenario for her. That silence meant she was in trouble, even if she had not done anything wrong, which she usually had not. Tonight, Brianna soon found out the silence meant the latter.

Brianna took her basket to the kitchen, to unload the groceries she had managed to purchase before Polly had monopolised her time. The kitchen was dark when she entered, and Brianna went about looking for some matches. However, before she could, someone else lit the gas lamp on the side board. A warm glow spread about the room, casting shadows around the room. Brianna looked to the lamp, and saw that her mother had clearly been waiting there for her to arrive back. 

“Where have you been?” she demanded.

“I went to the market, like you asked,” Brianna replied, lifting her basket to show her mother.

“And it took you this long?” her mother stalked forward and snatched the basket from Brianna’s hand. She began unload the shopping onto the table in the centre of the room. 

“Well, I bumped into someone at the market, and they invited me for tea. It would have been rude to say no,” Brianna left out the fact that Polly had physically dragged her from the market to the Shelby house. At her explanation, her mother’s gaze shot back up to Brianna’s face.

“Who invited you for tea?” she asked sternly. 

“Polly. Polly Gray.” Brianna whispered, not wanting to make her mother angry. But it did not work. Her mother threw the basket onto the kitchen table and got closer to Brianna.

“What did you say? Did she ask about your father? Did you talk about your sister?”

“No. I didn’t say anything. We didn’t really get to talk much.”

“Don’t lie to me girl!” Brianna’s mother grabbed her wrist and held it tight, tight enough to hurt, “what did you talk about?” 

“Nothing, I promise. Like I said, we barely spoke,” Brianna said quickly, trying to calm her mother down. Her mother applied more pressure to her wrist, making Brianna wince and her eyes begin to water. Her mother stared directly into her eyes, intimidating Brianna.

“You better be telling the truth. I hope to God I don’t hear anyone start to mention your sister again,” Brianna’s mother said, finally releasing her grip on Brianna’s wrist. “Now get out of my sight.” 

Not needing to be told twice, Brianna quickly left the room, checking her wrist as she went. It was throbbing slightly, and would most likely have a red mark for a day or two, but Briana let out a sigh a relief. She was expecting a harsher reaction when she told her mother it was Polly that invited her for tea. The two women had never gotten on before, with Brianna’s mother thinking that Polly was a bad influence on her daughters. She could probably also see that her daughter’s preferred Polly to herself, making her dislike turn into hatred over time. She had never stopped the girls from going to the house though, seeing the visits as a way to get her daughters from under her feet, and allowing her to have the house to herself whilst Brianna’s father was at work. 

Brianna made her way back down the hall, choosing to stop in the sitting room before going to her bedroom. That’s where she found her father. In his usual chair by the fire. Where he had sat almost every day since returning from France. When he did move, he did not go anywhere further than their street, and if he did it was only to do the short walk down to the docks to sit by the water. He seemed to go where it would be the quietest. Brianna did not know much about his time during the war, neither his ranking or his station had ever been talked about. All she knew was that he had been stationed somewhere in France, and had appeared to gain the respect of many of the men she passed by daily. Most of the men she passed either nodded a polite greeting towards her, or stopped to ask how her father was. She never knew what to say. Sometimes Brianna felt as if she were famous, as most people around Small Heath seemed to know who she was now, women and children included. Whatever her father had done during the war had certainly not only affected him, but many of the other men that had returned. 

“Hi dad,” Brianna whispered gently, kneeling beside the chair her father was sitting on. She placed her gaze on her father’s face, and saw he was staring into the fire, like yesterday, and the day before. “Frank, the butcher asked after you today; so did Dennis and Simon on my way to the market. I told them you were doing fine, I hope that’s okay,” Brianna kept her voice gentle as she talked. He seemed to respond when she did that, not so much in words, but with his eyes. His eyes seemed to spark up when she spoke, except today. Today his eyes remained on the fire, glazed over, he appeared to be somewhere else. Another country or another time, Brianna was not sure, he was not in their house either way. He was lost in his own head today, 

Brianna sat in the same position for a few minutes. She just watched her father, committing his face to memory. Noticing the few small scars that lined his face now, she wondered where he got them from. Brianna hated seeing her father like this, but at least he was here with her, so many other had not got that opportunity. She would have taken her father back whatever way he arrived, she was just glad it was alive. 

Brianna stood, and began to turn the leave the room, when another hand grabbed hold of hers. Shocked, Brianna turned and faced her father, who had grabbed her hand to stop her leaving. When she had turned, his eyes were fixated on her wrist, the one her mother had grabbed, but they now trailed up to meet her eyes. Now it was as if the fire he had been staring at had been lit in his eyes. They were such a deep brown, much like Brianna’s own, and they looked more alive than Brianna had seen since his return. 

“You’re so brave sweetheart,” her father’s voice startled her, after not hearing it for so long, she had almost forgotten what he sounded like. His words confused her, but also brought tears to her eyes.

“Dad?” Brianna asked, hoping he would elaborate on what he meant.

“Don’t let her win,” was all he said in return. Brianna kneeled next to his chair again, making sure to maintain eye contact with her father, fearing she would lose him to the fire again.

“I don’t understand what you mean dad,” Brianna said gently, placing her other hand on top of the one he was holding her with. His eyes shifted to the sitting room door, before flicking back to Brianna’s.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t protect your sister. I’m sorry I can’t protect you. But you know who can. You can trust them. Please trust them.” 

“Trust who dad? Dad?” Brianna asked urgently, desperate to know what he was talking about. Had he been aware of what had been happening this whole time? He must have had some vague idea about Holly, if he mentioned her sister. Does he know what his wife is really like? Who can she trust? Brianna had so many questions, but she saw her father’s eyes begin to dim again, and knew he wouldn’t answer. 

“Polly was always so nice to you girls,” was all he managed to say before his eyes glazed over once again, and he turned back to the fire. His hand was still sandwiched between Brianna’s, so she grabbed hold of it not, and clutched it like it was her most prised possession. 

“I love you dad,” Brianna whispered, as a few tears finally fell from her eyes. She held his hand and watched his face for a few more minutes, before getting up to leave the room again. She dabbed her face with the back of her hands, trying to remove the tracks of her tears before she left the room. Brianna stopped at the door, and looked back to her father once again. He looked so peaceful in his chair, that she never would have imagined a whole war was happening inside his head.


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning, Brianna woke up in a determined mood. She decided to go straight to the Shelby house, make polite conversation and try to swerve all topics regarding her family. Brianna hoped she would just get to see Polly and Ada today, but she knew she was bound to see the brothers again. She knew she would just have to face whatever came, and hope that would be enough to tide Polly and Ada over for a while. She could face the whole family today, as long as it meant she would be left alone after. Hopefully if she spent a few hours there today, no one would not expect to see her for a while. With that thought in mind, Brianna got dressed quickly, and managed to slip out of the house without anyone spotting her.

Brianna took the familiar route to the Shelby house, stopping to talk to few people along the way. Like on most days, they all asked about her father, and never spoke about her sister or mother. Sometimes Brianna felt as though people knew the secrets of her house, the look of pity their eyes held was stronger than to be for just her father. She often wondered if people knew, why did they not try to help. But Brianna knew if she wanted help she had to ask for it, and there was no way she was going to do that. 

When Brianna reached the house she gave a few timid knocks on the door and hoped someone would hear. Whilst her right arm was stretched out to knock, her sleeve fell back slightly, and revealed that the marks on her wrist had turned into bruises. Brianna winced now that her mind had finally registered them. She quickly retracted her hand pulled her sleeve as far down as it would go. She would have to make sure it stayed that way, and not let anything accidentally show. 

After a few moments the front door finally swung open, and revealed the youngest Shelby to be holding it open.

“Hello,” Brianna said softly, she had not seen Finn since he was tiny, and he had certainly changed. 

“Hi!” Finn said brightly, “who are you?”

Brianna chuckled, “I’m Brianna, an old friend of the family.”

“Really? I’ve never seen you before.”

“Well, the last time I saw you, you were still small enough for Polly to carry around on her hip,” Brianna gave him a gentle smile, remembering those times fondly. Finn blushed slightly, not believing that the pretty lady in front of him had ever seen him before. 

“I don’t remember that,” Finn looked confused at Brianna’s statement, causing her to let out a bigger laugh than before. Finn’s face brightened at her reaction, unsure what had caused but pleased none-the-less to make Brianna laugh. 

Apparently her laugh had been loud enough to attract attention, as Brianna saw another figure make its way through the kitchen. Tommy stopped just behind Finn and placed his hands on his shoulders. Finn titled his head back to look at Tommy, and Brianna saw nothing but admiration in his expression, turning Brianna’s smile into something more gentle. She looked up to see Tommy watching her, which caused a strong blush spread across her face and made her look to the floor to avoid his gaze. 

“You’re causing quite the draft Finn, aren’t you going to invite this nice lady in,” Tommy said.

“Of course Tom, we was just talking,” Finn said quickly, not wanting to be in trouble, causing Tommy to ruffle his hair to let him know he was just joking. 

“I just came to see if Polly or Ada were in,” Brianna said quietly, not want to interrupt the brothers, but wanting to get on with what she had come here to do. 

Tommy nodded his head towards the kitchen and said, “come on in.” 

Brianna followed the brothers into the kitchen, where Finn ran up the stairs and left Brianna alone with Tommy. Tommy sat at the table and opened the paper whilst Brianna stood awkwardly in the kitchen unsure what to do. Without looking up from the paper Tommy spoke, “take a seat, Polly shouldn’t be long.” 

Brianna did not really want to wait around for Polly, but she also did not want to leave without seeing her. So, Brianna took a seat at the table, and sat as still as possible so as not to disturb Tommy. She began to look around the room and took in all of the little changes that had happened over the years. 

“Were you always this quiet? I can’t remember,” Tommy said, still not looking up from his paper. Brianna blushed, something she seemed to be doing a lot of recently. She began to play with her hands on the table, unsure what to do with herself.

“I guess so,” Brianna said. Tommy just hummed his reply, and carried on with his paper. Brianna sat for a few more moments, before she could not take the silence anymore. “Where is Polly?” she asked. 

“She just popped out, should be back any moment,” Tommy replied, finally folding his paper up to look at Brianna. “You haven’t been ‘round here in years, why the sudden need to see Polly?” Tommy lit a cigarette and stared at Brianna whilst he waited for a reply. Brianna did not enjoy the stern look in Tommy’s eyes as she struggled to come up with an answer. 

“Polly invited me for tea yesterday, but we didn’t get chance to talk much. I thought we could catch up today,” Brianna said, hoping that answer would be enough to satisfy Tommy. It wasn’t. 

“But why now? Why after all these years?” Tommy continued staring at Brianna, which unnerved her greatly. Brianna reached up to scratch her neck, trying to think of a good answer. However, she was so busy trying to think of an answer that she had not realised she had used her right hand. As she scratched her sleeve fell back again, exposing her wrist to Tommy. He shifted his eyes at the movement, and his eyes immediately caught the bruising circling her wrist. His eyes then looked between Brianna’s face and her wrist, something that Brianna soon caught onto. 

Brianna looked at her wrist and could not believe she had gotten distracted enough to forget about her injury. Her eyes widened at the knowledge that Tommy had seen, and she immediately snapped her arm back down. Brianna’s wide eyes locked with Tommy’s, and he saw the vast amount of fear hidden behind them. He coughed, and Brianna could tell he was gearing himself up to ask her about the bruises. However, before he could utter a word, Brianna shot up out of her chair. 

“Tell Polly I’m really sorry, I can’t wait any longer,” Brianna said, rushing toward the door she had entered through. Through her rush to the door she heard Tommy say her name, trying to calm her down, but she did not stop. 

Brianna threw the door open and ran straight into Polly who had her hand held out in order to open the door. 

“Woah, are you alright love?” Polly asked, her voice full of concern as she literally caught Brianna fleeing from her house. 

“I’m so sorry Polly. I’m sorry,” Brianna rushed out, before scuttling off down the road. Polly turned to watch her go until the girl disappeared out of sight. When Polly turned to finally walk back into the house, she was faced with Tommy stood on the doorstep, also having watched Brianna speed her way down the street. He had a lit cigarette dangling from his lips, and looked incredibly deep in thought. 

“What on earth was that about?” Polly asked. 

Tommy turned to face his aunt, and blew some smoke into her face before answering. He shrugged, and said “I have no idea Pol.” But Tommy did have some ideas, and he did not like the sound of any of them.

-

Brianna’s quick exit was still on Tommy’s mind when he was sat in his office later in the day. Tommy could not understand why he could not stop thinking about the girl and her wrist. The picture of her when she realised what he had seen was engrained in his memory. The fear behind her eyes had struck a chord with him. Whatever had caused the bruising on her wrist was clearly something she was afraid of. Tommy did not like to think it, but he thought maybe it was a ‘who’ more than a what. 

Tommy had been surprised when he saw Brianna sat at their kitchen table yesterday. When Polly had mentioned bumping into Brianna Smith at the church last week, the picture he had conjured in his mind was completely different from the reality. He had imagined a mousy little girl, with her nose always stuck in a book. A little girl who had tried to remain as inconspicuous as possible, and usually succeeded. She had never really caught his eye, except on the odd occasion she came out with some smart remark for her sister, that made everyone realise there was more to the girl that met the eye. Although, now Tommy thought about it, it would have been wrong for him to have really noticed her back then. At least not in the way he had noticed her the other day. 

Brianna had grown into a beautiful young woman. Based on the conversations had after she had left, his brothers had noticed that as well. A few lewd comments had been made before Tommy left the room again. It was not that he disapproved, which he did, but it was because he did not understand the feelings that had sprung up when he laid eyes on Brianna. He had been utterly captivated by her, but also curious by her timid-ness. She had never been an extrovert before, and had been nowhere near as loud as her sister, but there was still something different about her shyness this time. His curiosity had only been fuelled by the fear Tommy had seen earlier. And whether he liked it or not, that curiosity stayed with Tommy well into the night.


	5. Chapter 5

“You can’t avoid us forever,” said a familiar voice to Brianna a few days later. The voice had broken the silence that had encased in the church that Brianna was currently sat in. Even though Brianna recognised the voice, she turned to check anyway. She found Polly stood in the pew behind her. Brianna sighed and turned to face the front again.

“I’m not avoiding you,” Brianna said.

“Oh really? Then why have I not seen you since you ran out of the house the other? Where I found out you had been waiting to see me.” Brianna sighed again at Polly’s reply. Why had Tommy had to tell her that?

“I haven’t been avoiding you. I’ve just been busy,” Brianna said, trying her best to think of an explanation. She felt full of guilt for lying in church, but she could think of nothing better to say. Brianna rolled her eyes towards the roof of the church, and silently prayed for forgiveness for her small, white lie. 

“And that busy-ness has got nothing to do with what Tommy saw?” Polly asked, earning a small gasp from Brianna. Why did Tommy have to tell her that as well? Why could he not leave it alone? Brianna looked to ground, hiding her face from Polly and remaining silent. “I had to drag it out of him love, but it’s good he told me.”

Brianna was somewhat glad that Tommy had tried to hide it, but still upset that it had not remained hidden, so she remained silent. 

“So, you’re going to ignore me now too?” Polly asked, sounding exasperated. 

“I don’t know what you want me to say,” Brianna finally whispered.

“How about the truth? What happened to your wrist?” Polly asked, not sugar-coating her questions any longer. Brianna did not know whether to tell the whole truth or not. She did not want to burden Polly with the knowledge of knowing what was happening to her at home, but she was not sure how much longer she could keep it a secret anymore. 

“Nothing. It was nothing, it doesn’t matter,” Brianna said, turning her head slightly to make sure Polly could hear her properly.

“Based on your reaction last week, I doubt that’s true. But, I’ll let it slide for now,” Polly said, causing Brianna to let out a small sigh of relief, hoping Polly would not catch it. However, before she could relax, Polly asked her a much harder question to answer. “Now, the real question. What’s happened to your sister? Don’t think I haven’t heard any of the rumours around town. So, where’s Holly, Brianna?”

Brianna took a deep breath and tried to decide what she should do. Was it time for to tell the truth, and hope that Polly would not spread it any further, or should she just continue lying and be secure in the knowledge that know whisperings would end up reaching her mother. 

In the end, she knew what she needed to do. “She’s gone,” Brianna confessed, making tears instantly fill her eyes.

“Gone?” Polly asked, somewhat shocked.

“I don’t know where she is. She’s just, gone,” Brianna said, still not turning to face Polly. 

“What do you mean? How can you not know where she is?” Polly questioned. Brianna took a deep breath that came out shaky on exhale. This is where things would get difficult. She turned to face the front of the church, and focused on the stained glass she saw there. Pretending no one else was around would make this easier. It was just Brianna and God here now. 

“Holly…” Brianna paused to steady herself, “she got involved with a man, a soldier, after the war started. He used to be stationed here on leave and the two them became close, really close. She didn’t tell anyone for a while, but then, things got complicated. They wouldn’t be able to hide it for much longer. She came to me, and told me she was pregnant, which obviously shocked me at first. But once I heard about the two of them, and the love they had begun to share, I was happy for her. Even though they weren’t married, they could have made it work. He was going to propose once the war ended, and if they moved away no one had to know the true story of how it happened. They would have had a happy little family,” Brianna said, pausing slightly to gear herself up to Polly the nest part of the story. The part that filled her with a grief and guilt that she had been carrying for years now. 

“What we didn’t know was that our mother had overheard, and she… she did not like the news. You see, when the war started, my mother changed, she became, harder, harsher. I didn’t understand why, I still don’t, but it was almost as though she stopped caring for us. She was never the most loving women, but it was like we became a burden to her, and she just wanted us gone. So, when she heard about Holly, that was her perfect opportunity. I’m not entirely sure what happened, but they had an argument one night. A huge argument, like they’d never had before. The nest day my mother sent me out, gave me errands for the whole day, and by the time I came back home… Holly had gone. And my mother wouldn’t tell me a thing.” 

The was a small silence, before Polly whispered, “my god.” For some reason, it was that quiet exclamation that shattered Brianna. It broke down the wall inside of her, that she had to build to keep what happened a secret. Sobs wracked her body, as she finally allowed her tears to flow. Tears that she had not allowed herself to cry since it happened, since everything that had happened in her home had started. Before she knew it, Polly had joined her on her pew and started holding her. 

“I have no idea if she’s alive or not. She wouldn’t tell me anything,” Brianna cried, completely overcome with the grief she was now feeling. She had not spoken a word about it to anyone since it had happened, and saying the story out-loud, sharing the story with another person, made it all the more real for Brianna. She did not have to burden the secret all by herself anymore. 

“I didn’t do anything. I couldn’t do anything,” Brianna could not stop the guilt from coming out. She had been holding on to it for so long. She had wished every day since it had happened that she had not done what her mother had asked. Damn the consequences, if she had defied her mother that day, things could be so different now. 

In that moment, Polly knew there was nothing she could say or do to ease Brianna’s mind, so she let her cry it out and held her, like she knew her mother never had. 

-

When Polly arrived home later that evening, she was exhausted. She had spent the last few hours with Brianna in the church. She spent much of the time trying to reassure her, and try and help reduce Brianna’s guilt. Nothing had worked, and Polly was not sure anything would work at this point, she had been holding onto the guilt for too long for anyone to help her in a day. 

All Polly wanted when she entered the kitchen was to be alone, and spend some time thinking about to do in peace. However, when she had fully entered the kitchen she spotted some smoke drifting from the corner of the room. She turned to find Tommy sitting in the armchair that faced the entirety of room. It looked as though he had been reading some papers, but had stopped when Polly had come into the kitchen. 

After the two held eye contact for a moment, Polly sighed and turned away to fill the kettle and make herself some tea. Although, before she turned Tommy had noticed the sadness in her eyes. A different sadness than he was used to seeing, and it made him wonder where his Aunt had been. 

“You’ve been out for a while Pol,” Tommy said, instead of outright asking her. 

“I was with a friend,” Polly said as she sat at the kitchen table with her tea. The two remained in silence for a short while. Polly lit herself a cigarette and held her head in her hands as she began to think. Tommy watched his Aunt, and grew slightly concerned with her behaviour. He placed his papers back inside their folder, and joined his Aunt at the table. He lit his own cigarette and sat back in his seat.

“Must have been a difficult friend,” Tommy said. Polly looked up from her hands, looking at Tommy as she took a drag from her cigarette.

“Why don’t you just ask me Thomas?” Polly asked, knowing what Tommy was trying to do, and was not in the mood to play along. Tommy studied Polly for moment and took a long drag from his cigarette.

“Alright. Who were you with Pol?” The tension built in the air as Polly contemplated what to do. Before she had left, Brianna had begged her not to tell anyone, which Polly was adamant she would not. However, she wanted to help Brianna, especially if that help meant she could find her sister, and Tommy was the one man who would be able to do that. Polly knew she could trust Tommy, but she did not want to break her promise to Brianna in any way, that girl had clearly been let down too many times already. With a deep sigh and a long drag of smoke, Polly decided what to do.

“It was Brianna Smith.”

Tommy took another long drag of his cigarette. He just stared at Polly as he released the smoke from his mouth. The smoke swirled in front of Polly, whilst she stared back at Tommy, waiting for a reaction he did not give. Tommy merely raised an eyebrow at Polly, in a silent questioning, encouraging her to carry on. 

“Something has been happening in that house. I hope to God it started after the war, because if it had been happening under our noses all that time I could never forgive myself,” Polly divulged. The information caused Tommy’s brow to furrow, and lean his elbows on the table in front of him. 

“What do you mean Polly?” 

Polly took in a deep breath through her nose. “This afternoon she told me about Holly. About how she landed herself in trouble, but they had a plan to sort it out,” Polly took a   
drag, “but then their mother found out. She flew off the handle, and Holly hasn’t been seen since. Brianna has no idea what happened to her, or where she might be.”

Tommy was silent, taking his time to absorb the information. Polly could almost hear the gears working in his head as he thought about what Polly had said. 

“Well, that’s quite a situation. But that’s not what you were talking about a minute a go. What else has been happening.” 

Polly exhaled a sigh of disdain and placed her head back in her hands. “She wouldn’t tell me anything after that,” Polly paused, before letting Tommy know what she thought. “That women has never had a maternal bone in her body; but it sounds like only got worse after the war started, and I fear it has to do with what you told me you saw last week. Those bruises weren’t nothing, no matter what she says.”

Tommy knew that ‘that women’ was Brianna’s mother, Mrs. Smith. And he had to agree, the woman was anything but maternal, a very closed book. Hell, they were never even allowed to know he first name. He doubted her daughters even knew that much about her. Tommy had been coming up with his own theories about the bruises all week, but he never thought they would have come from the girl’s own mother. The curiosity that had been bubbling in Tommy’s mind all week was now turning into worry, and he had no way to stop it until he found out the truth.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if I'm entirely happy with this chapter, but here it is!

Brianna was not sure why she had come here. Especially at the hour it was. But with her aching body and sore face, she could not think of anywhere else to go. 

So, here she was, outside the Shelby house. 

Brianna looked up at the house and saw several rooms lit from within. Still unsure about knocking, Brianna looked up and down the street to if anyone else was about. When all she saw was darkness staring back her, and not liking the feeling of being so exposed right now, she made up her mind and stepped to the door. 

Brianna let out a shaky breath as she reached up and knocked on the door. Much like when she was last here, her knocks were timid. Usually, after what had just happened Brianna would either lock herself in her room, or go down to the docks, where there would be no fear she would bump into anyone. However, with father’s words from last week still ringing in her head, she had found herself walking to Watery Lane, to where the Shelby’s lived, where somewhere in her heart knew she would always be safe. ‘Polly was always so nice to you girls…’ was what her father had said. Brianna just hoped that she would continue that kindness now, even when Brianna would be inconveniencing her.

The clicking of shoes could be heard walking towards the door, causing Brianna’s head to snap to attention, readying herself for whoever was going to answer the door. She hoped it would not be Finn this time, she did not want the young boy to see her like this. Although, based off the sound of the shoes, Brianna knew it would not be Finn. Brianna heard movement directly behind the door, and then it was swung open, revealing Ada on the other side. 

“Brianna?” Ada whispered, her brow furrowing when she took stock of Brianna’s appearance. Brianna blushed at the inspection, slightly ashamed of the state she was in. Her hair was in disarray, some strands managing to disguise the bruise forming around her right eye. However, the cut on her bottom lip could not hidden, and neither could the red mark on her cheek. Her clothing was also dishevelled, showing the struggle that Brianna had just gone through, but hiding the forming bruises underneath. She had fought to get away tonight, not willing to take the abuse that had been hurled at her. Sometimes, Brianna did not fight back, feeling as though she deserved whatever was slung her way, but tonight was different. Brianna felt the excuse behind this evenings abuse was unjustified, and she refused to sit back and take it. So, she managed to get away, but not before a few beatings, that were sure to leave her with some nasty bruises for a few days. 

“What’s happened to you?” Ada asked, raking her eyes up and down Brianna’s body over and over again, as if that would give her the answers. 

“I… I don’t know why I came here. I’m sorry,” Brianna said, turning to leave. Now that someone had actually seen her, Brianna regretted her decision to walk here. What was she thinking? Anyone could have seen her. That would have sparked a million questions that she could, and did not want to answer. Even coming here, to the Shelby’s, would open up a bunch of questions that she did not want to answer. How could she have been so stupid?

“Wait!” Ada called, making Brianna immediately stop her retreat. “There is no way I’m letting you leave here looking like that,” Ada moved outside and took hold of Brianna’s hand, “come inside.” Ada saw Brianna’s hesitation, and worked to ease the girl’s nerves. “I won’t ask any questions if you don’t want. We can just have some tea, and I can help clean you up a bit,” Ada paused and watched Brianna think about it. “Please, I wouldn’t be able to sleep knowing you left here like that,” Ada felt bad, but she knew guilt would sway Brianna to stay in the end. And she was right.

Brianna gave a small nod of her, giving Ada all the permission she needed. She pulled on Brianna’s hand and led her into the kitchen. Brianna had been so easily persuaded to stay in the end as she had assumed Ada was the only Shelby at home, or at least the only one downstairs, but she was very wrong. Brianna stopped walking as soon as it became clear there were other Shelby’s in the kitchen. She had been embarrassed enough for Ada to see her like this, now she had to face John, Tommy and Polly seeing her like this. 

Ada noticed Brianna had stopped when her hand almost slipped from her grip. Ada turned to look at Brianna questioningly, and saw Brianna’s gaze was fixed on the other Shelby’s in the kitchen, answering all the questions she was going to ask. Ada gently tugged on Brianna’s hand to gain her attention.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Ada said, whilst Brianna’s eyes widened like a frightened rabbit. “They won’t ask any questions either, I’ll make sure of it.” The look in Ada’s eyes made Brianna immediately believe her, and the two girls continued their journey to the kitchen. 

“Who was at the door Ada?” Polly asked, not looking up from the sewing she was doing. The two brothers in the room did not look up from their activities either, causing Ada to roll her eyes. 

Ada coughed before announcing, “it’s Brianna.” 

That statement made all three heads shoot up from where they were previously focused. As all three took in Brianna’s appearance, different levels of shock played across their faces. Polly looked the most shocked, not quite believing what she was seeing, her worst theory about Brianna’s family seemed to be true. John looked nearly as shocked as Polly, having not been a part of any of Tommy and Polly’s conversations about Brianna and her family. Tommy looked more sad than shocked, sad that the young girl they all once knew had clearly been going through such hard times and none of them had had any idea. 

Ada watched them all with a raised eyebrow, challenging them all the say something. But when she saw John open his mouth to speak, she instantly shut him down. 

“Brianna’s just popped in for a little bit of tea, and to get herself cleaned up, okay?” there was a further challenge in Ada’s tone, suggesting to the rest of them that what she had said was all that they needed to know. Seeing all three of them nod their heads, told Ada that they understood her, and they would not ask any questions. At least, not at the moment. “Okay, good,” Ada turned to Brianna, who had lowered her head to face the floor, but Ada saw her face still looked like that of a frightened rabbit. “I’ll just go and put some water on, and you can sit here Brianna,” Ada said, in a much gentler voice she had used to speak to her family. 

Brianna lifted her head to look at Ada, and nodded. When Ada slipped her hand away, she could not help but feel the shaking of Brianna’s own, and made sure to be quick making the tea and preparing a cloth to clean Brianna’s lip. 

When Brianna sat down she felt three sets of eyes on her, but when she looked up she only met the warm brown eyes of Polly Grey. The sympathy she saw in them made her blush, already knowing they were pitying her, and feeling ashamed at the thought. How could they pity her? People went through worse every day, what she had been through paled in comparison. Nevertheless, she knew the feelings came from a good place, so she wold accept them for the time being. 

No one knew how to carry on a conversation, they all sat and waited for Ada to finish brewing some tea. Whilst Tommy and Polly had some decency to look away, John could not help but stare at the side of Brianna’s head. He knew he was being rude, and could sense Brianna’s discomfort at being so openly stared at he could not help himself. He did not understand how someone like Brianna could end up in the same situation that he often found himself in. What had happened to this girl? How had she ended up like this? However, before John could say or ask anything, Ada returned with a tray of tea. 

“John, stop staring,” Ada said harshly, setting the tea on the table. Her reprimand caused Brianna to blush, knowing that John had been staring at her. 

“Sorry,” John said, looking a little bit sheepish. He turned his body away from Brianna and lit himself a cigarette. 

“I thought you had quit?” Polly asked, prompting John to reply and the two carried on a normal conversation, making Brianna feel at little more at ease. The atmosphere in the room changed, and the room did not feel as heavy as before. Whilst they carried on talking past the issue of John’s smoking, Ada began trying to help clean up Brianna.

“Here we go,” Ada said, bringing a damp cloth to Brianna’s lip, unsure what to do in this situation. The feeling of the cloth made Brianna’s lip sting, and caused her to flinch away from Ada. “Sorry,” Ada said, grimacing.

“It’s okay,” Brianna said softly, the first words she had uttered in the house this evening. “I’ll sort it, okay?” she took the cloth from Ada’s hand and began dabbing at her own lip, a practiced hand at fixing this issue. Ada sighed and began to make some cups of tea, feeling helpless. 

Whilst dabbing at her lip, Brianna felt some eyes on her, but from a different to where John’s had been before. This time, when she turned to look, she found that the eyes were a piercing blue, and belonged to none other than Tommy Shelby. Brianna met his eyes for all of a second before quickly turned away and forcing her gaze downwards. 

When Ada finished sorting out the cups of tea, she turned back to Brianna to see how she getting on. Ada found that Brianna was no more comfortable than before, and she tried to think of way to solve that.

“How about I fix your hair, hey?” Ada said quietly to Brianna, so as not to startle her. Brianna looked up at Ada, and with a small smile and a nod Brianna gave her permission to fix her hair. 

However, when Ada pulled back the bits of hair hanging over Brianna’s face, she was shocked to discover more damage that the hair had been hiding. Her gasp did not go unnoticed, and the others once again turned their gazes to Brianna. All three were also shocked to see what lay under her hair. 

“What? What’s wrong?” Brianna asked, with some urgency, not understanding why they were all looking at her with open mouths. 

“Your head,” Ada said, causing Brianna to reach up to feel what could possibly be wrong with her head. However, before she could touch, Ada grabbed her hand and gently pulled it back down, “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

Brianna instantly began to panic, not enjoying being in the dark about whatever injury was on her head. Tears began to brim her eyes, as her panic manifested itself through her other emotions. Brianna turned her gaze to Tommy, and her expression pleaded with him to tell her what was going on. 

“There’s a cut… on your forehead… it looks pretty deep” Tommy said, not wanting to divulge the information, to a girl who was clearly scared, but he knew he must tell her. He saw her eyes widen in surprise, and her hand raise to touch her forehead again. This time, Brianna succeeded in feeling her forehead, although she as gentle as she went, she still winced when she approached the area the cut was. The cut, ran two or three inches down her hair line, and was spread open a few centimetres, suggesting Brianna had banged her head quite heavily on something. 

“But I don’t remember…” Brianna trailed off, clearly going back to the time when she received the injury. Her eyes appeared to glass over as Brianna was transported to a time barely two hours ago. “The doorway,” Brianna whispered, clearly having remembered when, or what, caused the cut on her forehead. Brianna’s brow furrowed in further confusion, still seemingly unsure about the injury.

“Brianna?” Polly called gently, gaining Brianna’s attention, “what happened?” 

And Brianna knew, she had to tell her. She had to tell them all.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quite a long chapter. Hope you enjoy.

Again, Brianna’s eyes appeared to glaze over as she went to recall what had happened to her a couple of hours ago. 

“My mother came home this afternoon, in quite a mood. She said people have been asking her about Holly again,” Brianna’s gaze drifted to Polly for moment, “I know you would never tell anyone what happened, but people have still been asking. I think they’ve seen me around town more than before, so have begun wondering where Holly is now. My mother absolutely hates people asking her, more than you could ever imagine. And, every time someone asks her… she seems to think it’s my fault. As if I’ve been telling people to ask her these questions.”

Brianna took a deep breath, “cause she thinks it’s my fault, she…” I looked away from everyone again, focusing on the lines engrained on the table, not wanting to meet anyone’s eye. “She finds a way to punish me… This has been the worst for a while,” Brianna finished, pointing at her face to emphasise the point. 

Brianna took a deep breath and let the silence settle around her. She still had a damp cloth clutched in her hand, so she delicately raised it to begin dabbing around the area she now knew help another injury. She felt everyone watching her movements in silence, no one knowing what to say.

The silence in the room soon became stifling, making Brianna nervous. 

Eventually, Brianna watched Tommy stand from the table and leave the room for a few moments. When he came back in, he was holding some white tape and bandages in his hands. He slowly walked over to Brianna. When he was stood in next to her, he gently held her hand that was against her forehead, and moved it out of the way.

“Let me fix this up for you,” Tommy said, surprising everyone in the room. Everyone that is, except for Polly, who knew her nephew was the same man he was before the war, underneath his hard exterior. She held a small smile as she watched Tommy begin working on the cut on Brianna’s forehead. 

Brianna was blushing before Tommy touched her, but it only deepened when his gentle touch began properly cleaning the cut. She was hyper-aware that they held the attention of everyone in the room, which did not help her blush, or her nerves. Brianna’s hands slightly shook where they were placed in her lap, and without knowing it, Ada and John both noticed. The siblings shared a look, and through a silent conversation decided to start talking as if everything was normal, helping to ease the tension in the room. Soon enough, Polly also joined in their conversation, and the tension in the room eased slightly, and Brianna began to feel comfortable once again. 

-

By the time Tommy had finished cleaning up the blood around the area, and the blood that had begun to dry in Brianna’s hair, the conversation had finished, and they were the only ones left at the table. John had gone back to own home to make sure his children had been put to bed. Ada had washed up, and then went to read on one of the comfier seats placed in the designated ‘living area’ of the space. Polly had also gone to sit in the comfier chairs, but had taken to darning some of the clothes that needed mending. Brianna had become significantly relaxed by this point, as was nowhere near as nervous as she was before. Tommy’s gentle touch, as well as the fact that every had left them alone at the table, had managed to calm her greatly. 

“Okay, I think I’ve got all the blood out,” Tommy said softly to Brianna, making her take a deep breath, knowing that the more painful stuff may come next. “The cut looks a bit deeper, so I’m going to have to stitch it.” 

Brianna just nodded, silently pleased that she would not have to insert her own stitches this time. She watched as Tommy rolled up his sleeves and handed Polly the needle and some cotton, so she could thread it for him. 

“I’ll be as quick as I can,” Tommy said, after Polly had handed him the now threaded needle.

“It’s okay, take as long as you need,” Brianna said softly.

Tommy nodded, and taking a deep breath, he got to work on Brianna’s cut. The initial pinch of skin made Brianna wince, but that was the only display of pain she showed for the whole time Tommy worked. Tommy knew he should not be by now, but he was completely surprised by Brianna’s clearly strong tolerance for pain. She made less fuss than some of the men he worked with. 

Surprisingly, when Tommy got to work, Brianna found that the time passed quite quickly, and before she knew it, Tommy was doing the final stitch to hold her cut together. He applied a small bandage to the area, and then he was done. 

“There you go love,” Tommy whispered, making Brianna blush with her endearment. 

“Thank you,” Brianna said, ducking her head out of Tommy’s eyeline. She stood from the table, which gained the attention from the two ladies in the lounge area. If she were being honest, Brianna had forgotten they were there, focusing on the movement Tommy made with the needle to notice the small chatter the women had been having. “I think I best be going now,” Brianna said, beginning to tuck her chair under the table. Whilst she was doing that, she failed to see the three other occupants of the room all furrow their brows, and share a look between them.

“If you think we’re letting you go back to that house, you must have hit your head harder than I thought,” Polly said, standing from her chair to approach Brianna, Ada following suit. 

“I don’t…” Brianna started, looking towards to Tommy for help. However, he just nodded in agreement with his Aunt, and hid a small smile by lighting a cigarette.

“You can stay in my room,” Ada said, walking right up to Brianna and looping her arm through hers, “I probably have a nightgown that will fit you as well.”

“I couldn’t…” Brianna started again, but was immediately cut off by Polly holding her hand up.

“We won’t hear any arguments. You’re staying here tonight, end of story,” Polly said, giving Brianna a look that told her not to argue any further. Brianna gave them all a watery smile, as tears began to emerge in her eyes.

“Thank you,” Brianna said, “thank you so much,” she turned to look Polly in the eye to make sure Polly knew how grateful she really was. Polly gave Brianna a small nod to let her know she had understood. Brianna looked down, and when she looked back up, it was to look at Tommy as he went towards the stairs. Much like when she was younger, Brianna tried to hide the fact that she was looking at Tommy, not wanting anyone to get the wrong impression. 

“Come on,” Ada said, tugging on Brianna’s arm with her own that was looped through hers, “let’s find you something to sleep in.”

Polly followed them up the stairs, and three women parted ways to get some sleep.

-

Brianna stared up at the ceiling, tracing the cracks above with her eyes. She had barely slept a wink, and based on light slowly emerging behind the curtains in the room told her should not be getting much more today. Brianna heaved a large sigh, she had spent the night thinking about Tommy, and the Shelby’s, and the kindness that they had so freely shown her. She was not used to this. She was not used to help anymore. She had no idea how to repay them. 

Knowing she would not be getting any more sleep, Brianna sat up in bed, Ada’s bed. Ada had been so kind to give her bed for the night, as well as the nightgown that currently sat on Brianna’s body. Ada went to sleep in John’s old room for the night, allowing Brianna to have some much-needed space to sleep or, in reality, spend the night tossing and turning, and thinking. 

After looking around the room, and finding nothing to entertain further, Brianna decided to go downstairs and make herself a drink. She hoped no one would mind. Thinking no one else would be awake at this early hour, Brianna decided to stay in her nightgown, and hoped she could sneak back upstairs to get changed before anyone found her. However, when Brianna reached the bottom step of the stairs, she had a great shock when she saw Tommy sat at the kitchen table. He had an ever-present cigarette dangling from his lips, as he looked over a great stack of papers.

Her small gasp was enough to catch Tommy’s attention, as his head snapped to attention to find the source. When all he found was Brianna, he gave a laugh and turned back to his papers. Brianna, unsure what to do now, stood at the bottom of the stairs, and watched as Tommy turned his current page over and moved on to the next. 

“Are you going to stand there all day, or do what you came down to do?” Tommy asked, without looking up from his paper. 

Brianna blushed, but nodded as she walked over to the kitchen and filled the kettle. She went about fixing her tea quietly, letting Tommy do his work in silence. 

“Would you like some tea?” Brianna said quietly, not wanting to startle Tommy by breaking the silence. 

Tommy pulled a face, “alright,” he said, surprising himself. He was not much for tea these days. In order to be polite, whilst Brianna made herself and Tommy some tea, Tommy decided to fold his papers away. So, when Brianna sat herself on the opposite side of the table, all of Tommy’s attention was focused on her. Not sure what to do with the attention, Brianna looked away and slowly sipped at her tea. It appeared that Tommy was in rush to break their silence, and copied Brianna’s actions. 

“I never answered your question last week,” Brianna said, wanting to finally break the silence. Tommy raised an eyebrow at Brianna’s statement, not remembering whatever question he had asked. “About why, why now?” Brianna looked up, and saw that Tommy was still placing all his attention on her, making her blush. “I don’t know how to explain it to people… about Holly. Well, about everything, but mainly Holly. I especially didn’t know how to tell Ada, I’m kind of hoping Polly will have said something. I figured it was easier for everyone if I stayed away. If I stayed hidden.”

“Ada knows,” Tommy said, “Polly told me, and I told her to tell Ada. I thought she should know, and I didn’t think you’d tell her.” Brianna looked away from Tommy at his statement, embarrassed that he knew she would not tell Ada. It had been hard enough to tell Polly. Telling Holly’s best friend everything that had happened, and that she had been kept in the dark all this time, would have been even harder for her. 

Even though Brianna’s head was bowed, and she could still feel Tommy’s intense gaze still on her, she felt comfortable. She was not sure if it was this house, this room, or the person she was sitting in it with, but Brianna felt more comfortable now than she did last night. The feeling in the room was a lot less stuffocating than the previous evening, but that may be because less people were watching her, she felt less scrutinised now most of her secrets were out in the open. And feeling more at ease than before, Brianna felt she could divulge another secret the man across from her.

“I feel…” Brianna started, looking up to look at Tommy once again, “I feel so embarrassed by it all. I’ve just… I’ve put up with it for so long, and by the time Holly was gone and she started hurting me… everyone was gone. My father was fighting, so were all of you, and every other man around here; Polly and Ada stopped coming around, and we had stopped coming here; there was no one left here. Everyone that I could have turned to, I couldn’t anymore,” now that Brianna had started, she couldn’t stop. “And then the guilt started to eat at me. How could I complain when there were people going through so much worse? People out there were literally fighting for their lives, for our lives, you included. I had no right to complain. So, I learned to live with it. And by the time you all came back, it was basically part of my routine, so I didn’t tell anyone. When Polly found me in the church, I felt so embarrassed, so ashamed, of everything that I had been hiding, that I still felt like I couldn’t tell anyone… but I’m glad I have now. I don’t feel so alone anymore.” 

Brianna looked Tommy squarely in the eye, and gave him a small smile at her final statement, showing how grateful she was to the family, to finally allow to tell someone. Tommy returned her small smile with one of his, but his expression quickly went into a frown as he though over everything Brianna had said. Something deep inside Tommy felt broken at Brianna’s confession. He hated to think she had spent all of this time feeling like that, so alone, so ashamed. Tommy stood from his chair, and walked round to Brianna’s side of the table. Brianna found that she could not take her eyes off him now, following his every movement until he stopped directly next to her chair. 

Tommy crouched next to where Brianna was sitting, and placed his hand on the back of the chair. The blush that Brianna’s face seemed to constantly hold now, deepened at feeling the heat of his hand through the cracks in the chair. “You should never feel embarrassed around us Brianna, and you certainly shouldn’t feel ashamed about your mother has done to you. She’s the one in wrong, not you. You deserve so much better. You deserve to never feel that way again. And I promise to try and make sure you never feel like that again.” 

Tommy’s words made Brianna tear up, she fully believed the sincerity behind them, and was so moved by this man and his family accepting her once again. She had always felt at home with the Shelby’s, but it seemed to be becoming more of a reality now. The emotion truly took over Brianna as she leaned forward and quickly pecked Tommy on the check. After leaning back her seat, Brianna’s face began to really heat up as she felt a blush spread across her whole body, not just her face this time, but she could not begin to regret what she just did. She had to show her gratitude somehow, and that was the best way she knew how to. 

“Thank you Tommy,” Brianna whispered. She managed to maintain eye contact with Tommy, who had not moved an inch since she had kissed his cheek. It was as if he was in shock, which unbeknownst to Brianna, he was. He had not been expecting Brianna do that, and he most certainly had not expected the feelings that surged through him at the contact. 

Brianna’s words cut through Tommy’s shock, and he made sure recover himself quickly enough to not let Brianna see the emotions swimming through his eyes. He gave a gentle nod towards Brianna, acknowledging her thanks, before standing to his full height again. Brianna’s eyes still followed him as he grabbed his folder off the table, and walked towards the double doors that Brianna knew the betting offices were behind. 

Before Tommy left the room, he turned back to face Brianna, only to find her eyes still on him. He nodded once again, before he pushed on the door and left Brianna alone in the kitchen. 

Brianna turned back to the table, and let a small smile spread across her face as she finished her tea. Who knew a small peck on the cheek could stun Tommy Shelby so much?


	8. Chapter 8

When Brianna emerged from finally getting changed into her regular clothes, she was greeted by Polly, Ada and Finn in the kitchen. The four of them sat down to a nice, quiet breakfast, before Polly redressed Brianna’s forehead wound. Finn went out to play with some of John’s children, and the three women settled down in the lounge area, and became emerged in separate activities. Polly worked on the sewing she had started the night before, whilst Ada and Brianna both began to read books. The quietness lasted for some time, making the women in the room become very relaxed and content in their activities. 

However, Brianna soon became distracted. She began thinking about her mother, and the consequences that may come her way if she stay out any longer. She had never stayed out for this length time before, even after an episode like the day before. Even though Brianna was enjoying the safe bubble she was now in, thanks to the Shelby’s, she knew the longer she stayed out, the angrier her mother would become. Brianna would have loved to stay in this space forever, reading books and going to sleep out night without any pain, but she had to go home, if not for more clothes, then to see her father again. She could not leave her father alone with that women, especially with the way he was now; what if her mother turned her anger towards him? He would not understand what was happening to him, he would have no way to defend himself. With a sigh, Brianna placed a bookmark in the chapter she was on, and put the book on the table. 

“I think I should go back now,” Brianna said, instantly getting the attention of the two women in the room. 

“What?” Polly asked, making Brianna wince at the stern tone she used. She did not want to cause an argument, but she had known the two women would not let her leave so easily. 

“If I stay any longer, she’ll get madder, and I don’t know what she’ll do. I’ve left my father alone, and he’s in no fit state to argue against her. I won’t stay long, just long enough to sort some stuff out,” Brianna rambled, hoping her excuse would be good enough for the Shelby women. Ada furrowed her brow at Brianna’s mention of her father, what state was he in now? It made Ada even more concerned for the woman in front of her. 

On the other hand, Polly’s eyebrows had raised, surprised the conviction in Brianna’s tone. She had not expected Brianna to be so willing to go back to her house now that she had confided in someone. But Polly understood the concern for her father, and her eyes had softened at the reasoning behind Brianna’s want to leave. 

Polly took a deep breath, “okay,” she said on her exhale. The answer made Brianna’s head snap towards her. She was not looking for permission, but she was surprised the woman before had relented so quickly, Brianna’s mind had been ticking over trying to think of more reasons to give for why she should leave. They were clearly not needed now. 

“What?” Ada all but screeched. “You’re letting her back to that house. To that woman! Are you crazy Aunt Pol? We can’t let her leave.”

“Calm down Ada,” Polly said looking back to Ada, “we can’t hold her against her will, and this is clearly what she wants.” Polly turned back to face Brianna, “however, someone will escort you home, and for the days you don’t come back here, I will send someone to check on you. If there is another incident, you promise me you’ll come back?” Polly pointed her finger at Brianna whilst she spoke, making sure her point was understood.

Tears swam in Brianna’s vision, touched by Polly’s thoughtfulness, and thankful that she would have some form of protection going back to the house. “Of course,” Brianna choked, her voice tight with tears, “of course I will. I’ll only be long enough to pack some clothes and sort out somewhere new to live. I just want to make sure my father will be okay if I leave.”

“You do know that you can stay here for as long as you like? If you don’t find somewhere quickly enough, there’s always room here for you,” Ada said, her eyes pleading with Brianna. Brianna nodded, of course she knew that, she just did not want to impose any longer then she needed to. Ada nodded back, glad that Brianna knew there was home here for her now. However, Ada did know that Brianna probably would not come back without some persuasion, and whilst Brianna got herself together Ada began thinking of ways she could persuade Brianna to come back sooner rather than later.

-

So, after a small amount of time, Brianna was on her way back to her family home, with a little companion in tow. Polly had tried to find a man to escort Brianna home, but it appeared they were all busy with jobs Tommy had assigned them to do, which left the only option as little Finn. Whilst he would not be able to offer much in way of protection, he was good company, and if the need emerged, he could run faster than anyone to get his brothers for help. 

“Brianna?” Finn piped up, just as the two of them turned the corner out of sight of the Shelby house. “Do you like my brother?”

“Well…” Brianna was confused, but answered with a smile in Finn’s direction anyway. “It depends which brother, as I’ve not really ever known Arthur. But yes, I would say I like your brother’s.”

“So, you like Tommy?” Finn asked.

Brianna was further confused, “yes, I like Tommy. Why do you ask Finn?”

“Well, I heard him and Polly talking about you the other day, and Tommy hasn’t talked about a girl in long time. So, I figured it must mean he likes you.”

“Oh. What were they saying?” Brianna asked, not wanting to pry, but needing to know why she was the topic of Tommy and Polly’s conversation.

“I dunno,” Finn shrugged, “something about them being worried about you, and how you needed some help.”

Brianna blushed, embarrassed that they had, had that conversation. Whilst she was glad she had now told people, Brianna still did not want them spending their time worrying about her. Surely, they had more important things to do? Worrying about Brianna should not be top of their list of concerns. Finn noticed that Brianna had become more solemn after his line of questioning, so he decided to stay quiet for the rest of their journey. This gave Brianna time to think, and process the idea of people worrying and caring about her again. It was a foreign concept to her after all this time, and would take some time for her to get used to.

Brianna had become so lost in her thoughts, that she did not realise when they had finally reached the street her house was on. 

“Why are there so many people out here?” Finn asked, bringing Brianna’s concentration back to the present. Brianna’s brow furrowed when she noticed what Finn was talking about. There was a rather large crowd forming in the middle of the street, which was unusual nowadays. However, what was more unusual was the fact that it appeared as though the crowd was forming around Brianna’s house. But, that could not be right, why would so many people be gathering around her home? 

Not waiting to guess what had happened, Brianna began pushing through the crowd to reach the front, where it became clear that the crowd was gathered around her house. Brianna looked further confused, and turned to look down at Finn who mirrored her expression. She was glad someone else was as clueless as her here. 

Before Brianna could walk into her house, she noticed one of her neighbours walk out of her house. She immediately ran to him, certain that he would tell her what was happening. She heard Finn follow her, as if he were her shadow. 

“Mr Thompson, what on earth is happening?” 

“Brianna,” Mr Thompson breathed out, looked more sad than Brianna had ever seen him. Before he could answer her question, Brianna noticed a movement from the corner of her eye. Two policemen had come out her house, with their heads down, and had made their way to their car to drive off. That was when Brianna noticed an ambulance had been parked alongside it. 

“What?” Brianna whispered, taking a step forward to the cars to see what had been happening. However, before she could, Mr Thompson grabbed her upper arms to stop her from moving any further. 

“Brianna, I’m so sorry. I really am,” Mr Thompson spoke with his head hanging down, not wanting to look Brianna in the eye. Whilst Brianna was still extremely confused, she was starting to get angry that her neighbour was not telling what was going on. 

“What has happened?” Brianna asked sternly, making Mr Thompson look back up and into her eyes. He took a deep breath to steady himself.

“It’s your father Brianna,” Mr Thompson paused, hating himself for being the one to tell Brianna the news. Brianna just nodded unware, encouraging him to speak. “I’m afraid he’s passed on Brianna… He’s killed himself.”

And with that news, Brianna swore she felt her heart physically break in her chest. She gasped for breath, and brought her hand up to clutch at her chest.

“What?!” She shrieked, not wanting to believe what Mr Thompson had said. “What? No. I don’t understand. He can’t be. No. He can’t have.” Brianna’s whole body was shaking, as she began to shake her head in refusal of the news. She refused to believe this had happened. He would not have done that. He would never have left without saying goodbye. 

“I’m sorry Brianna, but it’s true. It’s true,” Mr Thompson made sure Brianna was looking him in the eye as he spoke, making sure she understood. The look Brianna saw in his eyes, made her pause in shaking her head. It spoke of truth, and shock, and his own heart-break at seeing Brianna’s reaction. The look made Brianna break, accepting what Mr Thompson was saying.

“No,” Brianna whispered one last time, before completely breaking down in Mr Thompson’s arms. Mr Thompson removed his hands from Brianna’s arms, and used his arms to bring Brianna to his chest, in attempt to comfort her. He knew it would not be enough right now, but it was all he had to offer.

As Brianna was being comforted, Finn, who had heard the whole conversation, took off running back to his house. He knew Polly, Ada and his brothers needed to know what had happened. They needed to be there for Brianna. She would not get through this otherwise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Even more heartbreak for Brianna, I'm sorry!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is shorter than the previous couple, but I actually quite like this one! Much love to anyone who is reading this xx

Brianna barely moved in the two days following. 

After Finn had run back to the house, Polly and Ada both rushed back to comfort Brianna, and help her back to their house. They sat her in the lounge area, and went to inform the brothers what had happened. When they returned, Brianna had stopped crying, but that was the last sign of emotion they saw.  


After Brianna had stopped crying, she felt numb. She could barely feel her own fingertips, never mind anything else. She sat where Polly had placed her, and stared off into the distance. When anyone tried to talk to her, it was like she looked through them. If you were to ask Brianna what she had thought about in the two days following, she would not be able to. Due to the shock, her brain had gone somewhere else, somewhere safe, and warm, where Brianna could not be hurt anymore. It was nice for her, to not feel that pain, even if for a short time. 

Polly and Ada had helped her to bed, but Brianna barely slept, or she was not aware when she did. She remained in the bed for the following two days, not talking, not moving, and barely breathing. If people had not come to check on her every few hours, she may have actually stopped breathing altogether. But thankfully, the Shelby’s did come to check on her. They made sure she at least ate a few bites of whatever food they brought her. They helped change the bandage that was still concealing the terrible wound underneath. And Polly made sure Brianna was staying clean, and helping her to the bathroom a few times a day.

The Shelby’s had never seen anyone like this before. Finn commented that Brianna was like a Zombie they had read about in one of the books they were forced to read, whenever he went to school; and no one could really disagree. When Martha passed, John was pretty inconsolable, but he had never been this bad. He had managed to get himself out of bed in the days that followed, no matter how much he did not want to. So, no one knew what to do, or how to help Brianna. 

On the third day after Brianna’s father had died, Tommy was the first up. He got himself dressed and made his way downstairs, as he hoped to meet up with someone that had been mentioned to him a few days ago, in order to sort out some more personal business early. However, he was stopped in his tracks, as he rounded the last step of the stairs, as he spotted a figure hunched over a cup of tea in the kitchen. 

Even with her head ducked, with her hair in disarray and still having to wear a nightgown of Ada’s, Tommy knew it was Brianna, and he surprisingly felt himself moved by the sight in front of him. He so desperately wanted to help this girl. She was young, and innocent, but the world kept throwing things at her, and she could not dodge them anymore. Tommy was going to make it his mission to make sure life stopped being so cruel to her. He wanted to see more of that smile he had been so privileged to have directed at him more than once in the past few weeks. He wanted to hurt anyone who dared hurt Brianna again. And more than anything, Tommy just wanted Brianna to be and feel safe again. 

These feelings had surprised Tommy at first, even before the war he had never felt such a great need to protect a girl before, but since the war he was not sure he would have feelings this strong ever again. But, after a few days, the feelings had begun to settle within him, and he was almost thankful to be shown that he could feel this way again, after everything that the war had done to him. He was now beginning to grow more comfortable with the heaviness of these emotions sitting on his chest. And he had grown more determined than ever to fulfil the promises he had made to Brianna in his head.

“What are you doing up so early?” Tommy asked. He saw Brianna visibly flinch from where she sat, making him feel guilty. He walked up to the table, and whispered a “sorry” in Brianna’s direction, before he sat opposite her.

Brianna shrugged, “I don’t know really. I just… I couldn’t stay up there any longer. I needed to move and get dressed, and start trying to process what happened. Try to understand.” 

Tommy nodded, as a sympathetic look took over his face. Rather than pushing it any further, Tommy leaned back in his chair and lit himself a cigarette. He tilted his head back and closed his eyes, basking in the silence of the room. Usually whenever it what silent around him, the noise in his head began to take over. But not today. Tommy supposed it was even too early for his thoughts to take over. What else could it be?

Brianna coughed a little, “what about you?”

Tommy opened his eyes, and brought his head upright again to look at Brianna, “what about me?”

“Why are you up so early?”

“I’ve a meeting soon.”

“This early?”

“No rest for the wicked Brianna,” Tommy said, in a slightly teasing tone, surprisingly Brianna, but also making a small smile light up her face. Tommy felt immense pride in putting that small amount of joy on her face, he just hoped she would not be bold enough to ask who or what his meeting was about. That topic would surely wipe the expression off her face. 

However, unfortunately for Tommy, Brianna was feeling curious this morning, and hoped quizzing Tommy would distract her from her current circumstances; even just for a little while. 

“So, what’s the meeting about?” Brianna asked, sipping on her tea. 

At first, Tommy did not answer, contemplating if he should lie or not. On the one hand, he could be extremely vague, leaving Brianna guessing until he told her at a later date. On the other hand, he could tell Brianna the truth and possibly shatter her world even more. Tommy hoped that this meeting would be a way to piece Brianna’s world back together, but without knowing what the outcome would be, he could risk giving Brianna false hope, and hurting her if nothing turned out right. 

Brianna watched Tommy take the last few drags of his cigarette as they sat in silence. She thought he was not going to answer her question, which was fair enough. She should not really be prying into Tommy’s life, especially not any business aspect side of it. Brianna continued watching Tommy as he leant forward in his chair again. He stubbed out his cigarette and ran his hands down his face. He took a deep breath, and when he removed his hands form his face, he stared directly at Brianna. His intense gaze made Brianna feel uneasy, but she let him look anyway, wondering what thoughts were going through his head. 

Taking another deep breath and looking away from Brianna again, Tommy made up his mind. “The meeting I’m going to,” Tommy looked back at Brianna, “it’s with a man who might know what happened to your sister.”

“What?” Brianna gasped, not understanding what Tommy was saying. “What do you mean? My sister? What man?”

“I sent some men out, after Polly told me what happened, to see if they could find anything out. One man came forward, and claimed he rented the room to the man Holly was seeing. He said she came to him the night your mother… well, when your mother threw her out. I wanted to talk to him, see if I could find anything else out.”

Brianna sat in shock. She could not believe what she was hearing. Not only was Tommy being so kind by trying to help find out what happened to her sister, he may have made some progress. “I… I don’t believe it,” Brianna whispered, more to herself than Tommy. 

“I didn’t want to tell you until after, in case the man was lying, or his information didn’t lead anywhere. But, I also thought you had a right to know. I don’t want you to think too much into this, in case… I don’t want to hurt you. This could lead somewhere, but it also couldn’t. Do you get what I’m saying?” Tommy asked, staring intently at Brianna again. Brianna nodded, knowing she could not get her hopes up, but knowing she could not help it. This was the most hope she held in years, she might get to find her sister again. This could not have come at a better time. This was the best distraction she could have asked for. 

“Can I…” Brianna started, leaning forward slightly, but then instantly regretted opening her mouth. She immediately leaned back, “never-mind.”

“No. What were you going to ask?” Tommy asked.

“Could I… come with you?” Brianna asked, looking at Tommy with so much hope in her eyes. He would be foolish to say yes, knowing that this meeting could go the complete opposite to the way he wanted. He knew he had to try and rein Brianna in, help her understand that this man could be lying, his information could lead him to a dead end, he could just want attention. But, the way she was looking at him, with such pleading in her eyes, was making it hard for him to say no. He knew she needed this hope, now more than ever. 

“Okay,” Tommy nodded, and the small smile that lit up Brianna’s face could never make him regret his decision.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit longer than the last chapter. Hope you enjoy! Much love to everyone reading! xx

Not long after Tommy had agreed to let Brianna come with him to meet the man who claimed to have information about her sister, the two of them were walking to his residence. The place he lived was not far away from the Shelby’s, but was more towards the edges of town rather than the centre. 

When Tommy finally pulled up outside a building, Brianna could not believe her sister had ever been there. If the outside was anything to go by, the building was run-down, with smashed in windows, a front door that had a split down the middle, and questionable clientele littering the streets outside. Brianna had to keep reminding herself that her sister had come here during the war, it could have been completely different then; these changes could have come about because of the war, like so many others that had happened. 

After standing outside the building for a couple of minutes, letting Brianna soak in what was in front of her, Tommy led them up the few steps to the door. He knocked on the door, and as they waited he lit himself a cigarette. The smoke that surrounded him on his exhale, finished his look, making him become the intimidating figure he was becoming known as. Brianna had not seen this side to him often, but she had heard about it. Since getting back from the war, the Shelby’s brothers had become a formidable presence around Birmingham. However, Brianna did not like to believe in idle gossip, and whilst it may be true that the Shelby’s were not to be reckoned with; she knew they were same people underneath. She knew they cared deeply about their family and loved ones, proved solely in the past few days by the way they had taken Brianna in without question. 

Brianna could not help but stare at Tommy whilst they waited. The smoke surrounding him was hypnotising, and seemed to be drawing Brianna in, rather than its job of warding her off. She watched as he stuck his hands in his trouser pockets, and just let the cigarette hang from the corner of his mouth. Tommy turned his head slightly, and caught Brianna’s eye for a moment, making her blush and look away. However, by looking away, Brianna missed the smirk that Tommy failed to hold back, pleased that he caught Brianna’s staring. 

For the rest of their time waiting, Brianna kept her gaze on the ground not wanting to be caught starting again. This then gave Tommy the opportunity to some staring of his own, although much more discreetly than Brianna did. He could not but notice how her pale skin had become so much paler than before, making the bags under her eyes become much more prominent, as well as the still healing bruises that were lingering on her face. His eyes quickly looked at the cut along her hairline, and although he hated seeing it, he was glad it appeared to be healing nicely. Tommy sighed, blowing some smoke out of his mouth as he did so, he hoped whatever this man had to say would be enough to distract Brianna from her pain, even if it was only as long they were here for. 

Eventually, the bolt locking the door could be heard moving, making Brianna’s head look forwards again, as she waited to see who would open the door. The man behind the door only opened it partway, only allowing him to see Brianna. He looked her up and down, thoroughly confused as to why an obviously young and pretty girl was standing on his doorstep. They were less likely to come around since the war, and the ones who did had landed themselves in dire circumstances. Scanning over Brianna’s face, the man was not wrong to assume that she was in a similar situation to the other women who now came here. 

“Who are you?” the man asked, rather gruffly, making Brianna flinch. She stuttered for moment, before looking to her left, towards Tommy. Noticing her shift in gaze, the man opened the door wider, and immediately regretted the tone he had used to speak to Brianna. 

“Mr Shelby,” his eyes darted between the two people in front of him, “I’m sorry, I didn’t realise you were here too. Please forgive me. Come in please.”

Brianna’s eyebrows raised in surprise in how quickly the man’s demeanour and tone changed simply at seeing Tommy stood there. Tommy followed the man into the house, but quickly checked to make sure Brianna was following him. The man lead them down a long corridor, surrounded by doors on all sides, to which Brianna could only guess to what was happening behind them. 

The man stopped outside what could be loosely described as an office. It contained a table, several chairs, a desk, as well as papers and bottles covering most available surfaces. 

“Please take a seat, I’m sorry it’s such a mess,” the man said, attempting to clear the table of some of the paper. Even though the man had greeted her so sternly, Brianna could not help but feel sorry for this man, he was clearly struggling to balance and maintain things at the moment. And if his appearance was anything to go by, that included himself. 

“There’s no need to tidy on our account, we won’t be here longer than necessary,” Tommy said, pulling out chairs for both himself and Brianna. He placed himself in his and leaned back, giving off an air of relaxation and nonchalance, which made Brianna feel somewhat relaxed. She knew Tommy had a handle on this situation, and she just had to trust he would get something out of this man. Brianna sat more rigidly next to Tommy, not feeling comfortable in this setting. 

The man sat opposite the pair, and produced another bottle from somewhere, although this one was full. He put three glasses on the table, filling them, before pushing two towards Tommy and Brianna.

“Hope you don’t mind, need this make sense of me head,” the man said, gesturing to his glass before taking a large gulp. 

Tommy nodded, taking a drink of his own, as he noticed Brianna pale even more. If anyone knew about chaotic thoughts, it was now Brianna. 

“It’s fine,” she whispered, wanting to make sure the man knew she did not judge him in the slightest. His coping mechanism seemed to be a common one, and much better than the path her own father had gone down. At least this man was able to talk. 

“What was it you wanted again?” the man asked, the alcohol giving him liquid courage to be upfront with Tommy. 

“We wanted to know what you remember about someone we knew. We’ve heard that she spent some time here before the war, and was one of the last places she came before she left the city,” Tommy said. The man nodded, before he turned his eyes to look at Brianna. He stared for a minute or so, making Brianna slightly uncomfortable, but if this man was going to give her answers, she would not say anything to him about it. 

“Brianna Smith, right? You’re Holly’s sister,” the man asked, making Brianna’s eyes widen in surprise and quickly nod to answer his question. “She showed me a picture before she left, she was so upset that she had to leave you. I can see why,” the man nodded towards Brianna’s face, showing he noticed the injuries that lay there. Tears swam in Brianna’s eyes, as she crossed her arms in a way to hold herself together. 

“Do you remember anything about the night she left?” Tommy asked, trying to stay on task, but as the man thought, Brianna asked him another one.

“What was she like? When she came here... was she happy?” Brianna sounded almost desperate to know, and she was. She needed someone else to remember her sister, to talk about her again. Someone with more recent memories than the Shelby’s, someone who would know what she like leading up to the time before she left. 

The man’s eyes softened as he heard Brianna, heard her desperate plea for information about her sister. Instead of answering Tommy’s question, he choose to answer Brianna’s, which Tommy was more than happy to let happen.

“She wasn’t too happy when her man first brought her here, I think he made it sound nicer than it was. Made it sound like a nice hotel, rather than a run-down B&B. But after that, you couldn’t wipe the smile off her face whenever she came around. She once said it was her ‘safe haven’ here, she even came when Nick had to go back to the front.”

“Nick?” Brianna asked softly.

“Her fancy-man, the solider,” the man replied.

“Oh right. She never told me his name, I should have guessed,” Brianna said, looking back at Tommy with a blush and a sheepish smile. He smiled gently back at her, and nodded at the man telling him to continue. 

“I hadn’t seen a love like theirs in years. A young, pure, love. They were besotted with each other, had no eyes for anyone else. And when she found out she was pregnant, that didn’t change. He was fully prepared to marry her, and live their happily ever after,” as the man spoke a small smile took over his face, which soon became shadowed again, “and then she came here that night. She was so upset. Nick had left again and she hadn’t heard from him in a while, her mother had thrown her out, basically disowned her, and she had no idea how to get to you. She knew your mother would be keeping tabs on you to make sure couldn’t get near. I think that upset her the most. She could never tell you what had happened. She could never say goodbye.”

Whilst unintentional, his words hurt Brianna’s heart. That was something she had always wished for, at least getting the chance to say goodbye to her sister, to know she was going somewhere better, somewhere safer. Brianna started to cry softly, making the man feel entirely guilty. 

“I’m sorry,” he said, making Brianna shake her head.

“It’s not your fault, never think it’s your fault. You gave her a place to stay, a place to love, and I will be eternally grateful for that,” Brianna reached across the table to grab the man’s hand, making sure he knew how earnest she was being. The action made a slight blush appear on the man’s cheeks, making Tommy smile a little. Brianna held his hand for several moments, whilst she allowed herself time to recover. 

“What happened after that? Did she say where she would go?” Tommy asked, getting back to business, and the information they came for. 

“Nick was from a town in Scotland, they had talked about moving there, or somewhere closer to get married and have the baby. She was hoping to go and find his family, wait and see if they’d heard from him and if he’d come home. I like to think they found each other, but I really don’t know sorry. I wish I knew what became of them too, I really do.”

“It’s okay, you’ve given us enough. You’ve given me more peace of mind than I had before,” Brianna said, meaning every word. Even though she still was not sure what happened to her sister, at least she knew there was a destination in mind. Brianna could only hope Holly had reached where she was going, and was able to find her soldier. 

“Still, I wish I could give you more,” the man said, finishing off the drink he still held. 

Brianna felt movement next to her and looked to find Tommy standing to leave. She supposed they had what they came for, and it was pointless staying any longer, even though she wanted to. Brianna wanted to hear about the Holly this man got to see, she wanted to hear about the man she fell in love with and what they were like together; but those were stories for another day now. Brianna sighed and copied Tommy’s movements in order to leave. 

“Thanks for your time,” Tommy said, shaking the man’s hand. Even though Tommy was still dubious about the man in front of him, and the information he had given, he had made Brianna’s eyes light up with his story about Holly and Nick, and Tommy was grateful for that. He just hoped this information was correct, so Tommy would not be sending a couple of his men on a wild goose chase to Scotland. 

“Yeah, thank you so much for talking to us,” Brianna said, placing her hand on the man’s shoulder. He patted Brianna’s hand, still holding that regretful look on his face, he wished he give them more, but what he told them was all he had. Brianna just patted him back, on the shoulder, letting him know it was okay, no matter how much he did not think so. 

As Brianna was about to pull her hand away, she felt the man’s grip on her tighten on her, keeping her place. “If… if you happen to find them, or hear from them, will you let me know? Just let me know they’re okay,” the man turned his gaze to Brianna’s, letting her see how serious he was in his request. 

“Of course I will, of course,” Brianna replied, nodding towards the man. She was finally able to pull her hand, and with one last parting look, Tommy and Brianna left the man to continue drinking alone.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a longer chapter this week, hope you enjoy xx

After leaving the man’s run-down building, Tommy and Brianna began to make their way back to the Shelby house. Neither of them were in a rush to get back, so they maintained a steady pace as they walked in silence. Whilst they were both seemingly caught up in their own thoughts, they were also revealing in the comfortable silence that surrounded them. Usually, Brianna felt that whatever silence she was a part of was awkward and stilted, and needed to be broken; but with Tommy it was different. She felt as though she could spend the whole day with Tommy in silence, and it would not get awkward. He just had an air about him that put her at ease. Maybe it was because she knew she was safe with him, or maybe it was just because she knew he also preferred the silence instead of people’s meaningless chatter. 

As they made their way further back into Birmingham, waking not too far from where Brianna’s house stood, Brianna opened her mouth to speak. She was planning on asking Tommy what he planned on doing now, if he wanted to take this information further, and if so, how? However, before Brianna could utter a word, their path was blocked by the form of Brianna’s mother. 

Neither of them had seen her coming, as Tommy was also planning on talking, wanting to know what Brianna wanted to do with this information. But they certainly noticed her when she stopped a few feet in front of them, stood with her hands on her hips, and one eyebrow raised, a stance known to intimidate Brianna in the past. 

“Brianna,” her mother said coldly, making Brianna’s heart rate begin to pick up. 

“Mother,” Brianna whispered, trying her best to sound strong. She did not want to be scared of this woman anymore. Without Brianna noticing, Tommy moved forward and to left slightly, so he was stood in front of Brianna, blocking her mother’s path to her. Brianna’s mother instantly noticed the shift, bringing her gaze to Tommy rather than Brianna. She put on her sharpest expression, trying to intimidate Tommy, but it was no use. Tommy would never be intimidated by this woman. 

“Thomas Shelby,” Brianna’s mother said, with even more ice in her tone than before.

“Mrs Smith,” Tommy nodded at her, keeping his tone calm and collected, which actually seemed to anger her more. Brianna stepped closer to Tommy, and grabbed the back of his jacket for support. She needed a steady presence to ground her, to keep her strong now, and Tommy was that person. 

“You haven’t been home in a few days Brianna, which is surprising considering what’s happened,” Brianna’s mother said, keeping her eyes locked with her daughter’s, as a way to ignore the man stood between them. Brianna did not know how to answer, so she let the silence speak for itself. However, Tommy could not let her mother speak to Brianna like that any longer, he was not going to let Brianna feel guilty for leaving that hellish household and grieve somewhere without fear.

“Funnily enough, there’s a reason for that,” Tommy said, making sure his tone was laced with understanding. Brianna was thankful to Tommy for steeping in, but once she saw her mother’s eyes blaze with anger, she immediately became fearful again.

“Is that so?” Brianna’s mother asked, tilting her head to the side slightly, making look more menacing than before, if that were possible.

“Yeah, our family thought best to remove Brianna from the situation. Help make sure she was looked after properly,” Tommy said. 

“Well, I think I’m capable of looking after my own daughter Thomas. So thank you, but she’ll come with me now,” Brianna’s mother said, “come on Brianna.”

Brianna took a deep breath, preparing herself to do something she never had before. 

“No,” Brianna whispered.

“What?” her mother asked.

“No. I said no. I’m not going anywhere with you,” Brianna said, louder this time, to make sure her voice was properly heard. The adrenaline running through her at defying her mother made her grip Tommy’s jacket harder, but he did not flinch, making sure Brianna’s mother did not know how much she was actually panicking. 

“Well,” Brianna’s mother folded her arms, “it seems you’ve grown quite the backbone now,” she pursed her lips, “but you still need to come with me.”

“And why should she?” Tommy asked, allowing some anger into his voice now. 

“Because, I have something her father left for her,” Brianna’s mother spoke directly to Tommy at first, but then shifted her gaze onto Brianna, “I thought you might like.”

Brianna did not know what to do. She was confused as to why did her mother cared if she got something her father left her? But she was dubious as whether her mother was telling the truth. She could just be trying to find a way to lure Brianna back in order to hurt her further. But, what if she was telling the truth? What if her father had left her something? It would be the only thing Brianna had left of him. Should she risk going with her mother? 

“Tommy,” Brianna whispered, tugging on Tommy’s jacket so he would turn around and face. When he turned, he blocked her mother’s view of her, so she would not know what she was saying. “I think I should go with her.”

Tommy took a deep breath as he studied Brianna’s face. “I have no objection with you going,” Tommy said eventually, “but I’m not letting you go alone.”

“Tommy,” Brianna sighed.

“Why would you want to alone with her?” Tommy asked sternly, not believing she would want to go anywhere with her mother, even if it was with someone else.

“Because what if she’s telling the truth? What if my father has left me something? She’ll never give it to me with someone else there,” Brianna took a deep breath, looking over Tommy’s shoulder at her mother. “I’m just going to have to trust her, and you’re going to have to trust me.”

Tommy sighed again and ran his hand across his face. He spent a minute or so studying Brianna’s face, deciding what he should do. He could not help but let his eyes linger on the marks that he could still faintly see across Brianna’s face. He could not let Brianna go with that woman, at least not in sane mind and body. But, looking at the desperation in Brianna’s eyes he thought about giving in. He knew he could not trust the woman behind him, but he knew he could trust the woman in front of him, and if this is what she thought was the right thing to do, he had to believe that. However, that did not mean he could not leave her with some restrictions, and a heavily implied threat towards her mother. 

“Just give me a moment, okay?” Tommy said, turning his back on Brianna in order to walk over to her mother. 

“Tommy?” Brianna asked, wondering what he was doing. Even though she was curious, she stayed in her place, knowing that Tommy would not want her to follow him.

“Thomas,” Brianna’s mother said smoothly, as he stopped a few paces from her.

“If Brianna comes home with even one hair out of place, we will know,” Tommy told her, not trying to hide his threatening tone.

“Home?” Brianna’s mother asked, arching one of her eyebrows.

“Yeah, home. The place she lives now. The place where she feels safe, and welcome, and loved.”

“Is that so?” there was no denying the sarcastic undertone to Brianna’s mother’s voice. A tone that Tommy did not appreciate. He took a step forward, so he loomed over Brianna’s mother, finally making her feel intimidated.

“Listen, I don’t care what happens to you, but I do care about what happens to your daughter. And so do the rest of my family. So, if you even look at her in the wrong way, it won’t be me you’ll have to deal with. It won’t even be my brothers first in line. It’ll be Polly. And I knew you won’t want to deal with her when she’s angry.” Tommy finished, taking the fear he had inflicted on Brianna’s mother from his speech.

“Are we clear?” Tommy asked, to which Brianna’s mother nodded her head rapidly, “good.”

Tommy turned away from the woman in front of him, and walked back to Brianna with a satisfied smirk on his face.

“If you’re not back by the time it gets dark, we’ll come for you,” Tommy said as he reached Brianna again. Brianna merely nodded back, not able to voice her confirmation. 

Brianna started a slow walk to her mother, but before she was out of reach, she turned back to Tommy and brought him into a hug. “Thank you,” she whispered in his ear, causing goose-bumps appear on Tommy’s arms, making him thankful he was wearing his jacket. Tommy’s arms hung by his sides, not used to the physical display of affection, but when Brianna was about to let go, he quickly circled his arms around her waist. They hugged for a little longer, until they both knew it was time to let go.

“Before dark, yeah,” Tommy whispered to Brianna as she let go. She nodded her head once more, and finally turned back to mother to walk back the place she grew up in. 

-

The walk back to house was silent, with Brianna making sure she was trailing her mother the whole way. She refused to walk next to her, simply in case her mother tried to start a conversation, or at least try and say something to her. Brianna did not want to hear any more of what her mother had to say, she was done. She was just coming to see if her father had left her anything, and possibly collect a few of her belongings, and then she would be done with her mother forever. She felt no connection to her any more, no loyalty to the woman who had given birth to her; especially not after experiencing the kindness of the Shelby family, and learning how a family truly behaved when they cared for each other. 

Whilst Brianna did not want to impose, she did hope that she could return to the Shelby’s after this. Hopefully she could stay with them for a few weeks while she sorted herself out, and could afford to rent a room for herself somewhere. Brianna also hoped that by remaining close to Tommy, they could work together to possibly find her sister. She had to hold on to the hope for the next hour or so, while she dealt with her mother, she would need it to help her get through the interaction. Whatever Tommy said to her mother should be enough to warn her off Brianna for this visit, but Brianna would not put it past her mother to hurt her anyway, while she still could, and damn whatever consequences Tommy had put in place. 

When they finally reached the house, Brianna had to take a few deep breaths to calm herself before she followed her mother inside. She hated to think it, but this was the place her father died, the place where she last saw her sister, the place where Brianna had been so much and so often, but after this, it should be the place that Brianna would never have to visit again. 

When Brianna did walk inside, she felt a shift in the atmosphere from the last time she was here. It was subtle, but the house did feel emptier, as well as eerily calm. Brianna noticed that her mother had walked ahead of her into the kitchen, but rather than follow her, Brianna decided to go to her room first. She thought she should pack some of her belongings first, so if things got heated she could leave quickly and have her belongings with her this time. 

Brianna felt as though she was trespassing when she walked into her room. It had been nearly a week since she had set foot in this room, but the dust that had collected made it feel more like years. Brianna looked around her room, taking everything in for what could be the last time, when her eye landed on something sitting on her dressing table. Brianna’s brows furrowed in confusion, certain that she had not left anything on there when she was last here. As she walked closer, Brianna noticed that it was envelope, with her name scrawled across the top. Brianna gasped as she read her name, recognising the writing as her father’s. Brianna slowly approached the letter, as if it would jump at her if she moved too quickly. When she finally picked it up, Brianna went and sat on the edge of her bed with it, and sat staring at it for a few moments. 

It seemed her mother was telling the truth about her father leaving her something, although Brianna was unsure if her mother knew that. Brianna knew if her mother had found the letter, she would not have left it for Brianna to find herself. She would have lorded it above Brianna’s head, and made her jump through several hoops in order to receive it. 

Brianna took another deep breath in, this one more shaky than the last, and turned the letter over in her hand. She ran her finger under the seal, and slowly pulled the letter from its holdings. Reading the first line alone, made tears spring up in Brianna’s eyes. She was not sure how she was going to get through this. But she had to, she had to read her father’s last words to her.


	12. Chapter 12

_My Dearest Brianna,_

_I am so sorry it has come to this, but I cannot last much longer._

_The war changed me in ways I cannot describe. Whilst the men who returned with me describe me as a hero, I feel far from it. I had to watch many men die, old men, young men, and all those in between; and I could do nothing to help. Watching them suffer left a scar on my forever, but when I came back, and I saw the suffering you had been put through, I felt a pain I have never felt before._

_Seeing what your mother had become, and the pain she had begun inflicting on you and your sister, hurt me more than anything I could have witnessed in the war. I can never begin to tell you how sorry I am for leaving you with her, and for not being able to stop it when I did return. I have tried to hold on for as long as possible, hoping that my presence would somehow be able to help, but I now realise nothing I could have done would have stopped her. Not that I was able to do much._

_I’ve heard you’ve been back to the Shelby’s, and I want you to know you can trust them wholeheartedly. I am happier knowing my time has come now that I know you will be properly protected._

_I hope you know that I don’t want to leave you, but sometimes we don’t have a choice in these things. Your mother has been on the edge since I came back, and I know she’s been preparing for this moment for a long time. You can’t hold her too harshly for this, as I know I’ve been testing since I came back, and I would rather she take her growing anger out on me than on you._

_I hope you remember the man that I was, rather than the man I became. And I hope you remember all the good times we once had, and don’t think too badly that I could not save you from what you’ve been through. I love you with all my heart, and I hope you get to live a better life than we could ever provide for you._

_All my love,  
Your Loving Father xx_

By the end of the letter, tears were streaming down Brianna’s face. She could not believe the words in the letter. Her heart ached at the thought that her father thought he had failed her. He had been far from failing. She understood who he became after the war, and why, she was always just extremely grateful that he came home at all. Brianna passed people, and families, daily who had lost so many people they loved, and Brianna always counted herself lucky that her father had come home. She did not care there he never appeared to be present in his mind, he was always present in person, and that is what mattered. 

Taking a deep breath to try and control her tears, Brianna stood and placed the letter on her dressing table again. In an attempt to distract herself, Brianna pulled her suitcase from under her bed, and began packing some of her essentials. She made sure she had the clothes she wore the most often, and her most treasured keepsakes. 

As Brianna was packing, she went over her father’s letter in her head. Some of it did not make sense to her. Why did he talk about her mother? And what did he mean? Brianna’s brow furrowed as she closed her case. After she placed her case by the door, Brianna walked back over the letter, and decided to read it again, to see if it would make more sense with another read. Brianna sighed again, as she prepared for another onslaught of tears at reading her father’s last words to her. 

After re-reading the last two paragraphs again, Brianna began to read through the lines. She wondered what her father had meant by judging her mother ‘too harshly’, but it was starting to make sense now. And as the tears began to ease, and dry tracks onto her face, red hot anger began to surge through Brianna. If her father meant what Brianna thought, then her mother was much worse than she thought. She was a monster. 

Brianna heard the distinct sound of paper crumpling, and looked down to find that her hand had been squeezing into fist around her letter. She immediately let go of it, and pressed down in an attempt to get letter straight again. Brianna used the heal of her hand, and pressed down and down again on the letter to straighten it out. After a moment, Brianna realised how hard she was pressing down and brought her hands away from the letter.

Holding her hands out in front of her, Brianna noticed how much her hands had begun to shake. She did not know if it was from the anger she felt, or the shock, or just the general overwhelmed way she was feeling. Tears began to leak out of Brianna’s eyes as she took in what she had discovered. Even though her mother had always treated her, and her sister, so cruelly, Brianna could never have believed her mother was capable of going to the extremes of hurting someone. 

If Brianna was right, her father was implying that her mother was going to kill him. She did not want to believe it, but Brianna knew her mother could be capable of committing such a crime. Brianna felt her breathing increase, as she stood from her place sat on the edge of her bed. She began pacing back and forth as different scenarios and possibilities ran through her head. She did not know what to believe. Brianna pressed a hand to her forehead, as her thoughts became too overwhelming again. 

As Brianna was pacing back and forth, she heard a small creak come from not too far away, making her pause in her walking. Brianna turned to face the door, knowing that her mother had made her way upstairs, and it would not be long before she pushed herself into Brianna’s room. Just before her mother came in, Brianna rushed to where she left the letter and her, and made sure she was holding it again, so her mother would not have the chance to read it. 

Brianna faced the door again, as she saw begin to slowly move open, revealing her mother. Her mother walked inside the room, and instantly noticed Brianna’s demeanour. She took in her daughters shaking hands, now closed into fists, and the dried marks on her cheeks, obviously caused by tears. She also noticed the rage behind her daughter’s eyes, something she had never seen before. 

“What have you got there,” Brianna’s mother asked, as her eyes darted to her daughters fists again, and noticing the piece of paper she had scrunched in her hand.

“I don’t think that’s any of your business,” Brianna replied, speaking in a tone her mother had never heard before. Brianna’s mother smirked, trying to hide her shock at the way her daughter was speaking to her. She did not want to admit it, but she was feeling slightly intimidated by her daughter in that moment, unsure of what she was going to do next. 

“You spend a few days with the Shelby’s and you suddenly grow a backbone,” Brianna’s mother mocked her, as another way to hide her intimidation. 

“You spend a few days alone with my father, and you kill him,” Brianna said, not wanting to hold the information in any longer. She wanted to see her mother’s reaction, to see if there was any truth behind her father’s implications. 

Brianna’s mother took in a sharp breath, and snapped her eyes to look into her daughter’s. “Why would you say that?” her mother asked, not able to hide the shake in her voice. 

Brianna tilted her head to the side as she studied her mother. She took in her mother’s eyes darting around the room, refusing to look back into her eyes. She took her shaking hands, her slight increase in breathing, and the way she had started to perspire; and Brianna wondered, how could she have ever been afraid of this woman? This woman who was so weak she had to use violence to assert her dominance over her own children. Brianna realised that her mother had never been someone she should fear, she was someone she should feel sorry for, as she clearly lacked the ability to love, and to be loved. She used violence and fear, to mask her own fear; a fear that Brianna could see plainly on display now. 

“Because it’s true; isn’t it?” Brianna asked. When her mother did not make a move to answer, Brianna felt more anger rise within her. “Answer me,” she shouted.

“Yes,” Brianna’s mother whispered, shaking, “yes it’s true. It’s true, I killed your father.” 

Even though Brianna had come to the same conclusion herself, it still hurt to hear her mother confess what she had done. Brianna managed to control herself, and instead of more tears falling, she felt anger override all her other emotions, making her feel powerful, and dangerous, and far from afraid of her mother for once. 

“Why?” Briana asked, and when her mother did not answer again, she shouted again, “tell me why!”

“Because I couldn’t cope with it anymore, because I thought if he died you would have to come back here, because I wanted you to know what I was capable of. I have a list as long as my arm with my reasons why,” Brianna’s mother said, starting to get over the shock of daughter figuring out what she had done, and wanting to assert her dominance again. 

“You’re a monster. You’re a vile and evil woman, and I wish anyone else the world was my mother apart from you,” Brianna said, as tears filled her eyes at her mother’s word.

“Well, it’s shame you never had a choice in the matter,” Brianna’s mother said with a cruel smirk on her face. She was fully over her shock now, and wanted to hurt her daughter. And if she could not do it physically, thanks to the lingering threat Tommy left, she would do with her words. She would make her words she sharp, that they sliced her daughter as cleanly as a blade would. 

“You think I don’t have a choice?” Brianna said with a laugh, “I choose to decide you weren’t my mother a long time again. You may have given birth to me, but you were never my mother. And you never will be.”

Brianna’s mother stood with shock written across her face, surprised at the backbone her daughter was showing. 

“You think you’re big and strong because you managed to keep me here for so many years. But I know that you’re so small and weak, and you don’t have the power to hurt me any longer,” Brianna said to her mother, moving to pick up her suitcase, wanting to leave this house and never come back. Brianna could not help but smirk, as she moved forward her mother took a step back, clearly intimidated by her daughter. 

“Are you scared mother?” Brianna asked, after she had picked up her suitcase, shoving her letter into the front pocket, and began to walk towards the door, to leave. This time her mother stayed in place, refusing to look weak in front of the daughter she had made weak for so long. 

“Why would I be scared of you?” Brianna’s mother said, cringing when her voice wavered towards the end. 

“Because I’ve realised what you are. You are a scared, and weak, and pathetic little woman. You never deserved any love that we had for you, and father was much too good for likes of you,” Brianna said. 

Whilst her mother stood in shock of what she had said, Brianna made her move to push past and her and walk down the stairs. However, before she could walk past, her mother grabbed onto her left wrist, which was connected to the hand that held her suitcase.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Brianna’s mother said, barely concealing the desperation in her voice. 

“Anywhere that is away from you,” Brianna said viciously. 

Brianna tried to pull her arm from her mother’s grip, but she was holding on too tightly for Brianna to free herself. 

“Let go of me,” Brianna said. 

“Never. You are not leaving this house,” Brianna’s mother spoke through gritted teeth, and she began to struggle with her hold on Brianna. 

Brianna brought her other hand around her body, in order to push her mother off her. But, her mother also brought her other arm around to fend off Brianna’s advances. The two struggled against each other, forcing Brianna to drop her case and put all her might into fighting off her mother. 

During the struggle, Brianna found that they had switched positions, and her mother was now at the top of the stairs. Brianna noticed her mother’s foot edging towards the end of the top stop, and she knew she had to be careful. Brianna gave another forceful tug away from her mother’s grip, and felt the fingers holding her lose their tightness.

“Let go,” Brianna said, giving one last tug to free herself from her mother. 

The next moments appeared to happen in slow motion. 

Brianna pulled her wrist away from her mother, and gave a sigh of relief. But, as she looked up, she noticed the shook covering her mother’s face. Brianna’s brow furrowed, as she wondered what was happening. Then she looked down, and saw her mother’s foot had slipped entirely off the top step. She quickly lost her balance. Brianna reached her hand out to try and stop her mother from falling, but she slipped through her grasp. So, Brianna had to watched as her mother tumbled her way down the steep flight of steps that Brianna had spent her life walking up and down. 

Brianna’s hand covered her mouth, as she gasped at the scene in front of her. Tears welled in Brianna’s eyes once again, as she took in her mother’s still body at the bottom of the steps. 

Brianna pushed her hair from her face, as time seemed to come back to normal again. She raced down the stairs and stepped over her mother’s body. Brianna knelt down next to her mother, pushing her hair away from her face. There was blood rushing out of a wound on the top of her mother’s head, in the same position that the scar still lingering on Brianna’s forehead was. 

“Oh my god,” Brianna whispered, as she placed her hand against the wound trying to stop the blood gushing out. She used both her hands to apply pressure, which soon both  
became coated in her mother’s blood. 

Brianna’s eyes quickly scanned her mother’s lifeless body as she panicked about what to do. Remembering something she read in a book once, Brianna pulled one of her hands away and began feeling around her mother’s neck for a pulse. Brianna ran her hand all over her mother’s neck unable to feel any movement under her fingertips. 

Beginning to panic further, Brianna raised her hand from her mother’s neck and placed it under her mother’s nose. She waited a beat to see if she could feel any air expelled onto her hand. After a few moments of not feeling anything, Brianna pulled both her hands away and sat back on her haunches. 

Brianna stared at the body in front of her, and could not believe her eyes. She did not mean for this to happen. This was the last thing she wanted. 

Brianna went to push her hair away from her face again, when she felt a wetness against her forehead. Feeling confused, Brianna held her hands out in front of her and felt sick at what she saw. Her hands and forearms were covered in blood. Dark red blood.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my favourite chapter by far, so I really hope you enjoy it! x

Brianna’s lungs burned and her legs pumped harder, as she ran towards the only destination she could think of. 

After seeing the blood coating her hands, Brianna had been shaken from her shock at seeing her mother at the bottom of the stairs, and she had begun to fully panic. Having never been in this sort of situation before, Brianna was unsure what to do, or what to say. She had no idea how to explain this situation to anyone, and was not sure if anyone would believe it was accident, as Brianna was unsure of that herself. 

In the midst of her panic, Brianna could only think of one family that would be able to help her. The same family that had helped her out so much already. She knew this family would know what to do, and would believe her without question. So, Brianna ran. She ran and she ran, until she finally pulled up outside the house she had been living in recently.  


Pausing at the door, Brianna held onto the frame as she tried to catch her breath. However, Brianna soon lost her breath again, as she looked at her hand, and saw it was still drenched in blood. 

“Oh my god,” Brianna whispered, feeling sick at the sight of the blood still coating her skin. Her breathing began to pick up, as she finally registered what she had done. She had run here in broad daylight, covered in blood that was not her own. Anyone could have seen her running here. How could she have been so stupid? Taking her hand away from the frame, she placed it against her forehead. Brianna looked at the spot her hand had just been, and jumped, startled by the bright red handprint she left behind. She stared at it for a moment, her brain so hazy she struggled to connect what she was seeing with what had just happened. It was like a puzzle she could not solve. 

Brianna shook her head at herself, and registered that she was still stood outside. Her brow furrowed in confusion, not remembering how she had made it to the Shelby house. Everything was mashing together in her brain, making it hard to concentrate and causing her to forget what was happening. The only thing she could remember was the figure of her mother at the bottom of the stairs. Everything after was beginning to blur. 

With the feeling of confusion not going away, Brianna finally pushed her way into the Shelby household. She could hear nothing but silence as she made her way through the house, so she prayed that someone, anyone, would be inside and able to help her. 

As she rounded the corner into the living area, that opened into kitchen, Brianna found that one person was in the house. They were sat with their back to her, as they read from the paper. It was Tommy. The discovery made tears rush into Brianna’s eyes, as she knew she would safe with Tommy, she knew he would understand. 

Instead of interrupting him straight away, Brianna decided to let herself look at Tommy for a moment. From her position, she could still make out the side of his face, so she followed the length of his structured jaw with her eyes. As she reached the juncture of his jaw, she passed her eyes over his sharp cheekbones and delicate nose; making her realise how contrasting his features were, but that they were such a reflection of his personality. The sharp blended with the soft perfectly to make Tommy who he was, as a whole. 

“Tommy”, Brianna said softly, still reluctant to interrupt him, as she finished taking in her appearance. 

Hearing the soft exhale of his name, Tommy turned around and caught a quick glimpse of Brianna. He turned back around to fold his paper up, and allowed a small smile to cross his face.

“I was wondering where you were, almost sent some lads out to get you,” Tommy said, standing up and tucking his chair under the table. Tommy turned to face Brianna, and was about to make a quick remark about her silence, when he finally saw her appearance properly. 

Tommy was shocked by what he saw. Brianna’s hands and forearms covered in blood, along with the front her dress. As he looked at her face, he noticed a few smears along her forehead, where he guessed she had pushed her hair back, as he spotted some more blood drying on some loose tendrils. 

His shock soon turned to alarm, as he wondered where this blood had come from. Unable to make out any obvious injuries on her, Tommy stepped closer to Brianna, and began inspecting the rest of her body, to see if he could find the source of the blood. 

“What are you doing?” Brianna asked confused, forgetting that Tommy did not know what had happened.

“Finding where the blood’s coming from, we need to stop it,” Tommy said, not hiding the urgency in his voice.

“But it’s not mine,” Brianna said, causing Tommy to freeze, where he was crouched about to look at Brianna’s legs. He slowly came back to his full height and stared at Brianna, where she noticed the seriousness in his eyes.

“Whose is it then?” Tommy asked. 

“My mother’s,” Brianna whispered, as she watched the shock slowly overcome Tommy’s face one again. 

“What?” Tommy asked, keeping his voice just as quiet as Brianna’s, “what do you mean?”

“My mother,” Brianna took a deep breath, “I think I killed her.”

If this was any other situation, Brianna would have laughed at how comically wide Tommy’s eyes got, but at this moment, she just wanted to cry. She could not believe she had admitted that. Brianna looked down in shame at what she had done, afraid to see what Tommy filtered across Tommy’s face. 

If she was looking up, Brianna would have seen how speechless she had made Tommy with her confession. Usually, Tommy knew how to react to any situation, no matter how surprising. But, he had never seen this revelation coming. He never imagined Brianna was even capable of any action that may intentionally hurt someone, never mind kill someone, and her own mother at that. In fact, Tommy found it so surprising that he refused to believe that, that had transpired, until he had heard the whole story. 

Still looking away, Brianna felt a gentle finger fix itself under her chin, and gently push it upwards. She was immediately connected with Tommy’s eyes, and saw a softness there which surprised her. Her eyes darted all over his face, and found none of what she was expecting, she just found the same softness she saw in his eyes. It made her want to cry.

“Why don’t we sit down, and you can tell me everything,” Tommy said, holding the same softness in his voice. Brianna stared at him for a second. She slowly nodded her head, and followed him back over to the table, where she told him everything that happened after he left her.

-

“Brianna, you need to look at me,” Tommy spoke sternly from where he was sat next to Brianna. After she had finished telling him that had happened with her mother, Brianna had refused to look at Tommy. Instead, she was intently tracing the grooves on the kitchen table. 

“Brianna please,” Tommy said, more desperately, needing Brianna to look at him whilst he spoke. 

“What?” Brianna said, with more anger in her voice than Tommy was expecting, “what do you want to say Tommy? That I’m a horrible person? That I’m a monster for doing what I’ve done? I’ve killed my own mother, there’s nothing you can say to make that better!”

Tommy was shocked by Brianna’s words, but at least she finally turned to look up at him again during her outburst. He sighed as he took in the heartbreak he saw in Brianna’s eyes, and knew he had to reassure her about what had happened.

“Brianna, no one in this house, least of all me would ever believe that what happened to your mum was a purposeful act. There isn’t a malicious bone in your body,” Tommy said softly.

“But I…” Brianna started, but was immediately stopped when Tommy placed his hand on her neck, making sure she maintained eye contact with him.

“What happened was an accident. A cruel and unfortunate accident. I’m not going to pretend to be distraught over what happened, and neither will anyone else, cause your mum was a nasty piece of work. But, it _was_ an accident. You can’t blame yourself for what happened Brianna, ‘cause it will tear you apart. No one can ever know what truly happened apart from you, but I _know_ it was an accident.”

“How do you know?” Brianna said, the emotion in her voice strong.

“’Cause I know you. I know you would never do anything like that, ever. Everyone else here knows that as well. And if anyone dare question that, you send them to me, and I will straighten them out. And, when you’re up to it, that’s what we’ll tell the police, and they will believe us.”

“Tommy I…” Brianna started, but Tommy stopped her by placing his other hand on her neck. Brianna closed her eyes at the sudden onslaught of tears that rushed to the surface. 

“This was not your fault. It was not your fault,” Tommy said softly, bringing his forehead to rest against Brianna’s as he spoke. As his hands rested against her neck, his thumbs stretched up and brushed along Brianna’s jaw in order to comfort her. 

No matter how hard she tried, Brianna could not help the few tears that escaped the corner of her eyes at Tommy’s words. She could not believe how vehement he was in denying the fact she killed her mother. After everything she had told him, the fact that he could so easily brush her confession under the carpet was astonishing. Brianna was expecting him to judge her, to see her for the monster she was beginning to see herself as, not this. Not this acceptance and easy dismissal. Brianna did not know what she had done to deserve the Shelby’s in her life, but she was eternally grateful for their presence now, especially Tommy’s. 

“Come on,” Tommy sighed, after a moment, letting Brianna calm and collect herself. He detached himself from her, and began to stand. Brianna craned her neck backwards, to follow Tommy’s movements, with confusion marring her face. Tommy reached his hand out, for Brianna’s, and nodded his head towards the stairs. Brianna’s brow furrowed further at Tommy’s gesture, but placed her hand in his nonetheless, and allowed herself to pulled up.

Tommy led Brianna through the house, up the stairs, until they landed outside the room that Brianna knew the bathroom to be. As Tommy pushed the door open, he let go of Brianna’s hand and entered, and left her outside the room. If it were possible, Brianna’s brow furrowed even more. 

“We need to wash that blood off you,” Tommy said, finally cluing Brianna into what he was doing. 

“We?” Brianna asked timidly, entering the room, with a blush coming across her face.

Tommy coughed, feeling slightly awkward now, “well, I meant you.”

Even though she was still recovering from everything that had happened, Brianna could not help the smirk that came across her face at seeing Tommy Shelby flustered. There was a first time for everything. 

It did not take Tommy long to fill the bath tub for Brianna. Before she knew it, she was preparing herself to step into the warm water, and start washing the day’s evidence off her. However, before she started unbuttoning her blouse, Tommy started speaking. 

“I just wanted to let you know. Whilst you’re in the bath,” Tommy paused to sigh, “I’m going to round the family up and tell them what happened.”

Brianna nodded her head, but looked down, at Tommy’s words.

“Hey, it’s going to be fine. They’ll agree with everything I said,” Tommy said, placing his hands on Brianna’s neck once again, and tilt her head back up to his. Brianna could see the intense honesty his eyes held, and choose not to question his certainty.

“After that, I’ll send a couple lads round to...” Tommy had to pause again, unsure how to word his next statement.

“To deal with my mother,” Brianna said softly, knowing what Tommy was talking about without him having to say anything.

“Yeah,” Tommy whispered. 

The two stood in silence as the gravity of the situation set in. Thinking of her mother made Brianna eyes water once again, but she knew it had to be sorted, or someone else would find her mother’s body, and she could not guess what would happen if that became the case. Once again, Tommy was there to wipe away the few tears Brianna allowed to fall, and gave her time to collect herself again. 

After a few minutes, Brianna shook her head at herself, and pulled away from Tommy. Their eyes connected as she moved, so she allowed herself another minute to look into his eyes, and hoped her gratitude towards him shone through. 

“You should get going,” Brianna said softly, not wanting the moment to end.

“Of course, I’ll let you get yourself sorted,” Tommy said, also reluctant to leave the moment, but knowing he had. He brushed past Brianna and went to push the door open.

“Tommy,” Brianna said, grabbing onto his arm to stop him from leaving straight away. Tommy turned to gaze down at Brianna, with one hand still on the doorknob. “Thank you,” she said, earnestly, “thank you.”

Tommy nodded at her words, knowing that she needed to say them. 

“Anytime Brianna. Anytime,” Tommy replied, stressing the words, before patting the hand she had placed on his arms, and leaving the room to let her bathe.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this is much later than usual! I had major laptop problems, and then major writers block. I'm not entirely happy with this chapter, as I feel like it's all over the place. But, I needed to put something up, so here we go.  
> I hope you like it.

Brianna felt her whole body relax as she sat in the warm bath that Tommy had prepared. She had been sat in it for about ten minutes now, and was already beginning to feel her skin pucker from the exposure to the vast amount of warm water. Brianna had not realised how tense her muscles had become, until she felt them start to relax. She knew she made the right call by coming here, she dreaded to think what would have happened if she had stayed, or if she had gone somewhere else. No one would have helped her in the same way Tommy had, no one would have been as understanding. Brianna allowed herself a small smile at her thoughts. She knew Tommy could be gentle, she just never knew it would ever be directed towards her, and she never would have guessed how it made her feel. 

As Brianna watched the water around her turn a lighter shade of red than her hands had been; she vowed to herself to take in what Tommy had said. This was not her fault. This was just an accident. She was not a monster. This would not define her. In any case, that was the woman that had hurt Brianna for so many years now. It was the woman who threw her own daughter out and did not allow her to say goodbye. This was the woman who had murdered her father. Brianna would not feel remorse, or guilt. She would feel nothing. She would never deny it had happened, but she also refused to let it continue. It was over now. And her life could begin anew. It could begin with the Shelby’s. It could begin with Tommy. 

Brianna allowed herself a few more minutes of peace, before hoisting herself out of the bath. She immediately felt goose-bumps raise on her skin at the instant chill she felt stepping out of the tub, making her quick to wrap a towel around herself. She peeked around the door, making sure no one was around, before she tiptoed to the room she had previously been placed in. Upon entering the room, Brianna realised she still had no clothes to wear. She quickly remembered that, in her haste to leave her mother and run to the Shelby’s, she had left her suitcase at the top of the stairs, and who knows what had happened to her father’s letter. It was all a blur to her now. The letter could have ended up anywhere between her old house and the Shelby’s. 

Sighing, Brianna decided not to dwell on that for the time being, knowing that she could focus on that later. Perhaps she could even ask Tommy for help. Although, she knew he had helped her so much already, she hoped he would be willing to help her further. 

Brianna dried herself quickly after that, putting on one of the few dresses of Ada’s that they had found to fit her a few days ago. She smoothed her hands down the front, and made the decision to go back downstairs. She had to face it sooner or later. She only hoped that Tommy had managed to fill everyone in on what had happened by now, she would not like to walk in, in the middle of the explanation. Nor was she ready to speak about what had happened again, once was enough for now.

Taking another deep breath, Brianna left the room and made her way downstairs, where she found the majority of the Shelby family sitting around the table. The only ones missing were John and Ada. Brianna guessed that John was at home with his own family, but she had no idea where Ada could be, and she did not want to even try and guess her whereabouts. 

Seeing that the family were talking quietly amongst themselves, all sporting smiles on their faces, Brianna approached the table with some hesitance, not wanting to disrupt. However, the shuffle of her feet caught the attention of the room, causing all the Shelby’s heads to turn towards her. After seeing who it was, the majority of the family turned back around, but Tommy’s head stayed pointed towards her, making Brianna blush slightly. Before she reached the table, Tommy gave her a slight nod, letting her know he had told his family. Brianna gave a nod back, and the two of the shared a small smile. 

Even though the nod told Brianna that the rest of the Shelby’s knew what had happened, she was still unsure of their reaction. Obviously, she trusted Tommy’s judgement, and believed him when he said they would react similarly to him; there was still a seed of doubt planted in Brianna’s mind. What had happened was terrible, and she was partly to blame, no matter what anyone said, no matter that she wanted to put it behind her. There was still some blame to lay at her door. She just hoped the rest of the Shelby’s would be as kind as Tommy was, and not blame her entirely. 

Brianna reached the table quickly, and placed herself in a seat between Arthur and Finn, with Polly and Tommy sitting across from her. As she sat down, her and Tommy shared another small smile, helping ease some of the tension she carried. As she sat down, Brianna avoided all eye contact with anyone at the table, choosing to stare at the table top, whilst the conversation carried on around her. 

Eventually, the conversation ceased, and Brianna began to feel all the eyes in the room fall on to her. It is not that she thought the family would not acknowledge what she had done, but she had hoped they would give her some more time before they began to interrogate her. 

“Brianna,” she heard her name called softly, forcing her to look up, to find the source to be Polly. But, instead of finding judgemental eyes, or even quizzical eyes, directed towards her, she only saw a softness that was so rare for Polly to show. 

“Tommy explained what happened to us,” Arthur piped up, causing Brianna to look his way. But when he did not say anymore, Brianna’s eyes darted between the three eldest Shelby’s at the table, leaving Finn out of it.

“We’re not going to ask you any questions, or push you for anything. We’re not going to talk about it ever again if you don’t want to. But, we do want to say that we know what happened, and we want you to know, that it is not your fault,” Polly said, finally breaking the silence. 

Brianna stared at Polly for a while, not knowing what to say. She knew Tommy would have explained everything to them, even going as far to tell them she thought it was her fault, but Brianna was unsure if Tommy would have told Polly to say that. 

“I don’t…” Brianna started, “I don’t want to cause any problems by being here. If you don’t want me here, I’ll go as soon as I can.”

“I’m sorry, did you hear different words coming out of my mouth then?” Polly asked with a confused look on her face, “we believe what Tommy has told us, and we know that you would never hurt a hair on anyone’s head, no matter what they had done to you. And even if you did, you can stay here for as long as you want Brianna. We would never toss you aside.” Polly leaned across the table at her last sentence, and grabbed Brianna’s hand. She wanted to make sure Brianna know how much she meant what she was saying, she needed Brianna to know that she was always welcome at the Shelby’s

And Brianna could feel that, she could see it in Polly’s eyes, and she could hear in Polly’s words. That feeling made tears well in Brianna’s eyes once again. That feeling of acceptance, no matter what, was one she had never experienced before, so she did not understand how to deal with it. She did not know how to express her gratitude, but as a few tears slipped down her face, it was obvious to the family how she felt. They were changing her life, and that was gratitude enough for the Shelby family. 

As Brianna took a deep breath to try and calm herself down, she felt a pair of arms, smaller than her own, circle her waist. She looked down to find Finn had stood from his chair and begun to hug hair. The image made Brianna want to cry more, but she managed to hold any further tears inside, and instead hugged Finn back, allowing the feeling of finally being safe overtake her. 

-

It was later, much later, in the evening, and Arthur had just gone off to bed, leaving Brianna and Tommy alone once again. The two sat around the table in silence for a few minutes, neither of them feeling the need to talk. 

“Tommy, can I ask you a question?” Brianna said.

“You just did,” Tommy said with a smirk, making Brianna roll her eyes, but also hide a smile at Tommy showing his cheeky side. “Go on,” Tommy sat up straighter in his chair, so he could Brianna his full attention. 

“Why did you help me? Why _are_ you helping me?” Brianna asked, tilting her head to the side slightly. 

Tommy huffed a laugh at Brianna’s question, as it was one he had been asking himself from the time he had decided to help Brianna. If he was being honest, he had several answers, and no answers at once. He could pinpoint a number of reasons why he choose to help Brianna, but he also could not explain why he actually decided to do it. 

“I see a lot of myself in you. I see a pain in your eyes that I’ve only ever seen in the men I fought alongside. I see that the war didn’t just affect or change the men went to the front. I see that there were people hurting here. You reminded me that there was a war happening at home as well. That we weren’t the only ones to suffer. And, I can’t stop my own pain, so I decided to stop yours.”

“Oh,” was all Brianna could say, not expecting such a detailed response from Tommy. Not knowing how to respond, Brianna looked down as a silence filled the room again. Tommy was the one to break it this time.

“Your father saved many lives you know,” Tommy spoke quietly, but still gained Brianna’s attention immediately. He knew he had quickly jumped topics, but he needed Brianna to know this. To make sure it was clear how much respect Tommy, and the whole Shelby family, had had for her father. 

“I do,” Brianna replied. Tommy nodded along with her response, as he reached inside his trouser pocket for a cigarette.

“Arthur was one of them,” Tommy said, after a pause to light his cigarette.

“I didn’t know that,” if Brianna’s shock was not evident in her voice, it was certainly evident in her wide eyes. 

“Went all the way to France only to be put among all those familiar faces,” as Tommy spoke, he watched the smoke rise from his cigarette, not willing to look at Brianna’s face as he went into his memories. “I think that’s what made it harder, knowing the people being blown up in front of you. Lads that you grew with; men that you had passed by your whole life; boys who had barely begun to shave; and men who you knew had families desperately waiting for them back at home.”

Tommy paused to take a large drag of cigarette, before continuing, “Arthur doesn’t talk about it much, but I’ve heard some of the stories. Your father was a hero. Saved a whole fleet at one point. But I don’t suppose that really matters out there. You could save a thousand men and forget every one of their faces, but you’d always remember that one you couldn’t get to.”

Brianna could feel her heart break at Tommy’s word, as she allowed the tears to flow freely down her face this time. There was no use in hiding them anymore, not with what they were discussing. She knew Tommy would not judge her for them. 

After a few moments of allowing Brianna to cry in silence, Tommy put his cigarette out. He reached across the table, and managed to reach the hands Brianna had delicately placed on the table. He took them within his own, brushing his thumb across the top, in what he hoped was a comforting manner. Brianna looked across the table at him, surprised he was comforting her so openly. She never thought he would be the type to do that. But Tommy had been of surprises recently. 

“He was a good man, I will never forget what he did for Arthur,” Tommy said with earnest, needing Brianna to know she was not the only one who would remember her father.

“I know,” Brianna said hoarsely, her throat dry from her crying, “I just wish the one person he could have saved was himself.”

At her words, Tommy abandoned the idea of comforting her from across the table, and stood from his chair. He rounded the table, and much like Finn did earlier, her brought his arms around Brianna, and held her as she continued to cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any grammatical errors x


	15. Chapter 15

A week passed by, with Brianna now living with Shelby’s, quite quickly. Brianna was surprised at how easily she fit into the Shelby house, and their routines. But, it was easy to slot in, when the family made her feel so welcome and wanted. They made sure she never doubted coming to them with her trust, allowing her to feel completely at ease in their home. She felt like she had always belonged there, like she was a true member of the Shelby family. 

Brianna had taken to spending much of her time with the children of the family. As many of them refused to go to school, especially Finn, Brianna tried her best to get them to sit down for a few hours a day and learn something new. Brianna had always valued the education she had gotten, and she thought it important than all children got the chance to learn the things she did. She also knew that John appreciated her occupying his children’s time, so they were not causing havoc through the streets of Small Heath. 

Today, Brianna was having some one on one time with Finn, who she found the hardest to keep concentrated. After a few conversations with Polly, Brianna knew she wanted Finn to get some sort of education, to hopefully gain a better job than his brothers. And, although he did not say as much, Brianna knew Tommy and his brothers wanted the same. They wanted to Finn to know more than they did, to have a chance at a better job than them, if he so wished. Even if he did not want that, Brianna thought that any education Finn could get would help him, and help his brother’s if he chose to follow in their footsteps. 

“I’m never gonna understand this,” Finn whined, for the umpteenth time in the past hour Brianna had been with him. Brianna rolled her eyes, from where she was sat next to him at the kitchen table. She was trying to help him with some basic maths, like she had been taught when she was younger. They were currently working on fractions, which Brianna was regretting by the minute. 

“Yes you will, you’ve just got to be more patient,” Brianna said, as gently as she could, not wanting Finn to hear her frustration. 

“But they’re so hard,” Finn said, his voice taking on a whinier edge.

“Listen, if John can understand fractions, I’m sure you will too,” Brianna replied, allowing a stern tone to take over her voice, “we’re not giving up.”

Brianna saw a little smile appear on Finn’s face at her words, knowing that her sly dig at John would make him happy. 

Before Brianna could get Finn to focus again, another figure appeared in the room.

“Can hear you whining all the way from my office,” Tommy mumbled around the cigarette dangling from his mouth. He leaned against the doorway the divided the Shelby living area from the betting offices behind. 

“Shut up,” Finn mumbled back, trying and falling to hide the slight blush that appeared on his cheeks. He would never admit it, but Finn worked so hard to gain the approval and admiration of his older brothers; especially Tommy, whom he idolised the most. He knew Tommy was one of the reasons Brianna was spending time teaching him, making him feel embarrassed that he was sounding ungrateful now. 

Even though Brianna was failing to hide her smile at Finn’s embarrassment, she did also feel sorry him. She knew he was finding it difficult to take on board everything she was saying, particularly any of the maths she taught him.

“Cause I’m sure you understand fractions on the first go,” Brianna said with a smirk, raising an eyebrow in Tommy’s direction. The sarcasm in her voice could not be ignored.

Finn’s eyes darted towards Brianna when he heard her speak to Tommy, surprised that she was standing up for him, no one ever stood up for him in this family. His eyes quickly darted over to Tommy, unsure how his brother would take Brianna’s words. Finn had seen no one, apart from Polly, get away with talking back to Tommy. So, he was surprised once again, when he saw a small smile stretch across Tommy’s face. 

Tommy pulled the cigarette out his mouth, and flicked it behind him, before he replied, “you’re right, fractions and I never got along. We still don’t. That’s why John’s in charge of most of them.”

Finn huffed out a sigh and rolled his eyes, not believing Tommy. He was good at everything. 

“It’s true, mum was ripping her hair out with amount of times I tried to go over them. But I didn’t let them defeat me, and you won’t either,” Tommy said, making Brianna smile at his attempt to make Finn feel better, whether his story was true or not. 

“Fine,” Finn huffed again, knowing he could not disagree with Tommy this time. 

Brianna smiled further at Finn’s reluctant acceptance, and ruffled his hair with gentle affection. As she pulled her hand away, she was going to suggest they back to work, but realised Tommy was not going away. She raised an eyebrow at him again, hoping he would explain why he had really come into the room. 

“But you won’t be defeating anymore fractions today,” Tommy said, making Finn turn to him with barely concealed joy on his face. Brianna decided fractions would not be on top of the teaching list for a few days.

Tommy nodded his head to side, in his silent way of telling Finn to leave the room to him and Brianna now. Finn walked towards the doorway Tommy was leaning against and, before he passed through it, received another ruffle of his hair from Tommy. 

Tommy watched Finn walk a few metres away from the room, before he pulled himself away from the doorframe. Without his weight there anymore, the door closed behind him, giving him and Brianna the privacy he wanted for their next conversation. Even though he moved away from the doorframe, Tommy did not enter the room much further, staying close to the door.

“So, why did you have to interrupt our all-important lesson on fractions?” Brianna asked, whilst tidying the papers Finn had spread all over the table. Tommy wanted to smile at the sarcasm coating Brianna’s voice, but he could not bring himself to do so. 

After receiving no response, Brianna turned to Tommy to see what was keeping him so quiet. Taking in the expression on his face, Brianna knew he had not come into the room with good news. She began to dread why he had come into the room.

“Tommy?” Brianna prompted quietly, needing him to tell her what he had come into the for. 

“You’ve received a letter,” Tommy said, holding up the envelope in his hand as evidence. 

“Okay,” Brianna replied. 

“It’s from your sister.”

Brianna could feel her breath leave her at Tommy’s statement, she could barely ask what Tommy meant. She became frozen to her seat as he began to explain. 

“After our discussion with the man who knew Holly and her soldier, I decided to send a few men out to ask some more questions. Most came back empty handed, but a couple came back with some better news. They got a few names and addresses that didn’t immediately lead to a dead end. I sent them back out to do some more digging and find something more concrete. I didn’t tell you in case nothing came back. I didn’t want to upset you further,” Tommy paused to take a deep breath, “so, I waited for someone to come to me with secure information about your sister. One of the men came back to me today. And, he came back with this.”

Tommy walked over to where Brianna was still sat at the table. He placed the letter in front of her, and watched as she became unfrozen enough to pick the letter up and turn it over in her hands. As she stared at the letter for a minute, Tommy walked back towards the door, not wanting Brianna to feel crowded during this time. 

“Where is she?” Brianna asked, before she opened the letter. 

Tommy shrugged in response, “I’m sure the letter will tell you.”

Brianna nodded at what Tommy said, and took an unsteady breath in. She shakily pulled the letter from the envelope and began to read. As she read, Brianna read a few bits of key   
information out loud. 

“She found Nick’s family, and they took her in… He didn’t survive the war…” Brianna’s voice became thick with tears as she continued, “she had a little boy… his name is Henry, or Harry for a nickname, after our dad.” As Brianna finished reading the letter, she held it to her chest, as if that would help her absorb the information. She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths, before opening them again and looking towards Tommy. “She’s happy, and she’s healthy, she’d not even too far away. And she has a little boy,” Tommy nodded along with what she was saying, even though he had heard everything she had said. After she had finished talking, Brianna stared at Tommy for a few moments, before coming to an obvious realisation; “I wouldn’t have known any of that, if it wasn’t for you.”

At Brianna’s words, Tommy felt uncharacteristically bashful. The look of complete awe and gratitude on Brianna’s face made him realise the extent he had actually gone to, to get this information for her. He knew if it had been anybody else, he would not have put as much time or effort towards making them feel better. After coming to her realisation, Brianna stood from her chair, and walked across the room to Tommy. 

“I don’t know how many times I can keep saying this, but, thank you Tommy. Thank you so much,” Brianna said.

Tommy opened his mouth to reply, but before he could get any words out, Brianna reached forwards and pulled him into a hug. Tommy stood in shock for a moment, not expecting he gesture; but he soon relaxed and wrapped his arms around Brianna, bringing her further into his body. He heard her whisper “thank you” one last time, before she pulled away from him. 

However, Tommy did not drop his arms immediately, so Brianna stayed close to his body once she had let go of him. Their eyes connected for a moment or two. They could both feel the tension rising between them, but neither of them knew what to do with it. Brianna took in another unsteady breath. Before she could change her mind, she started to lean forward.

Tommy was frozen as he watched Brianna lean into him. In any other circumstance, Tommy would have known what to do. He would have been the one to lean in, he would be the one in control of the situation. But as it was, Tommy had no clue what to do. Brianna made he feel things he had not felt in so long, and even then, Tommy was not sure he had ever felt something as strong as he felt towards Brianna. She ignited something in him She drew him in. But she was so unaware of it. 

Even though she so desperately wanted to kiss him on the lips, Brianna course was not for that destination. She knew that would be far too shocking for either of them to comprehend. So, as Brianna got closer to Tommy’s face, she swerved slightly to the right, and landed her lips on his cheek. She only left them there for heartbeat, before pulling away once again. When she was stood straight again, Brianna whispered another “thank you,” towards Tommy. 

Rather than waiting for a response, Brianna wiggled herself out of Tommy’s arms, and made her way towards the stairs. Tommy watched her leave without making a sound. He would never admit to how long he actually stayed stood in the same spot after Brianna had left, but when Finn came back into the kitchen 30 minutes later, Tommy had still not moved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please excuse any grammatical errors x Hope you enjoyed the chapter x


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is quite long, and I'm sure there are many typos, and I know it jumps around a fair bit. BUT here we go, chapter 16, I hope you enjoy.

Tommy had never felt so affected by a kiss before. And it had not even been a proper one. Just a peck on the cheek as a way of saying ‘thank you’. No one unnerved him the way Brianna did. 

Tommy had not seen Brianna for a few days. Or rather, Tommy had been avoiding Brianna for a few days. It was not that he was uncomfortable around her, he was just not sure he to approach her after what had happened. He was afraid he might lose all control and do what he had wanted to the other day. He wanted to kiss her properly. On the lips. Not just a thankful peck on the cheek. 

Tommy could not pinpoint how long these feelings had been growing inside of him. All he knew was, after the peck the other day, he felt unsatisfied. He felt like it was not enough. And he so desperately wanted to make it enough. 

As Tommy sat at his desk, he took in a large inhale and placed his head in his hands. He could not stop the thought of kissing Brianna from swirling around his brain. He could not stop imagining how it would feel, how the soft press of her lips against his against his cheek the other day, would pressed against his own lips instead. 

He was imaging it so much, that it was physically stopping Tommy from doing his work. He could not concentrate. He could not think about numbers, or horses, or guns, when his mind kept drifting to Brianna. He thoughts just kept on going back to Brianna. Tommy felt as though he was 15 again, with the way his thoughts kept centring on a woman. But unlike when he was 15, his thoughts only centred on one woman this time. Not just any woman who gave him the time of day. 

He knew he had to get control of it sooner rather than later. Tommy’s work would not stay on hold because he could not stop thinking about Brianna. But on the other hand, making him feel 15 brought his mind back to a time before the war, where his mind was clearer. Where his mind was less fogged by the smells, and the sounds, and the hurt from the war. It gave him the ability to get a decent night’s sleep once again. So maybe thinking about Brianna all the time was not such a bad thing. Maybe he could learn to find a balance again. 

These were thoughts swimming around Tommy’s head when he heard a timid knock on his office door. Tommy knew that knock could only have come from a handful of people, causing him to sigh when he leaned back in his chair. He knew who this was going to be.

“Come in,” Tommy said, just about loud enough for the person on the other side to hear him. 

If he were anyone else, Tommy would have laughed when he saw who came into the room. If his thoughts had not been taunting him enough, it now seemed that the world was out to mock him, as Brianna walked into the room. Tommy was not surprised it was her, the knock on the door being so timid it could not have belonged to many other people, he had just been hoping he would be wrong about something for once.

After entering the room at his command, Brianna slowly turned to close the door, before turning back to face Tommy. She did not venture much further into the room, already apprehensive about her reason for being here, but growing even more nervous when she had so clearly interrupted his work. Little did she know, that she had been interrupting his work long before she knocked on the door. 

“Well, come and sit down then,” Tommy said, growing uncomfortable himself, at seeing Brianna clearly in discomfort at being in his office. 

Brianna did as she was told once again, and slowly approached the chairs placed on the opposite side of Tommy’s desk. She hesitantly sat down, and began twisting her fingers together, a movement that did not go unnoticed by Tommy. 

Tommy’s brow began to furrow with worry. He thought they had done a good job of making Brianna feel settled and welcome in the time she had come to stay with them. He had no idea as to why she should feel so nervous in front of him now. It made him grow nervous thinking about what she could have possibly come to say to him. 

The silence that had started to stretch only made the both of them grow more uncomfortable, a feeling Tommy did not enjoy having. He knew the only way to stop the feeling was to break the silence himself, not expecting Brianna to say anything anytime soon.

“Brianna,” Tommy spoke sternly, snapping Brianna’s gaze back to him from where it had begun to drift. His tone made Brianna instantly blush, making Tommy’s expression soften towards her, along with his words, “what did you need?”

“Oh,” Brianna started, almost forgetting the reason she came to his office in the first place. “The letter from my sister contained an address, her address,” Brianna stuttered out, needing to take in a shaky breath to try and steady herself. “So, I was thinking about going to see her…” Brianna trailed off, becoming more nervous for what she wanted to say next.

Tommy could tell Brianna had not finished saying everything she had come here to say. He hoped a gentle nod in her direction would get her to continue. 

“Well, I was wondering… if you’d like to come with me… to help me find her,” Brianna felt relieved as she pushed her last sentence out. She felt so relieved that she did not bother to try and hide the hope she felt that Tommy might agree to come with her. 

It was unlikely that Tommy would have said no anyway, but the pure hope on Brianna’s face made it impossible for him to now. However, when Tommy looked away from her, Brianna took it as his silent way of preparing to say no.

“I mean, I don’t need you to come. I just thought it might be nice to go. To go together. But, I can get the train. I’m sure there’s a train that’ll take me close to where she is,” Brianna could not stop herself from rabbling as she talked, so afraid that she had overstepped the mark by asking Tommy to go with her. 

“Brianna,” Tommy said as he held up his hand to get her to stop talking. Brianna blushed at Tommy’s action, once again worried she had taken things to far, this time by wasting his time rambling. “I would be happy to go with you.”

“Really,” Brianna said, barely noticing how high-pitched her voice went at her surprise. 

“I’ll have to rearrange a few things. But yes, I want to go with you,” Tommy confirmed. He could not help a small smile pass across his lips, at seeing the way Brianna’s face lit up at his words. Tommy knew he would agree to do all manner of things, if only to see that look on her face again.

-

A few days later Brianna and Tommy were on the road. Quite literally, with Tommy behind the wheel of the car that would hopefully take them to Brianna’s sister, Holly. They had just passed the sign to let them know they were now leaving Birmingham, and Brianna was astounded by the amount of green they were passing. As someone who had never ventured far from her own house, Brianna had never seen so many vibrant and pure colours in her life. The thought that she had been missing out on all of this, made her want to cry, but she managed to control herself and let herself it back and enjoy all the beauty she was seeing. 

Tommy turned his head to the left quickly, checking to see if Brianna was comfortable. He had felt unusually anxious for this trip, which he soon came to realise was caused by him wanting to please Brianna. He wanted this trip to be comfortable and easy for Brianna. He wanted to make everything as pain-free as possible. 

Now they were leaving Birmingham, Tommy felt his anxiousness begin to ease. He was on his way to getting Brianna to her sister. The only thing that would stop them from getting there, would be himself, and that made him feel more in control. There were no outside elements able to halt them out here, so Tommy was confident in his ability to get Brianna to her destination and make her happier than she had been in a long time. 

Now that he had looked, Tommy could not stop himself from turning to look at Brianna. The peacefulness look spread across her face, made a warmth spread across his chest. He had never seen that look on her face before, and after everything she had been through recently, Tommy was extremely pleased to see it there. 

“Have you ever been this far outside of Birmingham?” Tommy asked. He did not feel like he needed to break the silence around them, but he also thought it would be nice to start a conversation. 

“No,” Brianna said, with a light chuckle, it was like could read her thoughts. “I’ve barely been outside of Small Heath. This is definitely a change.”

“A good change?” Tommy asked. 

Brianna turned to look at Tommy at his question, letting her eyes trail along the sharp curve of his jaw. She absolutely adored the change. The freshness. The brightness. The company. She just did not know how to convey those feelings into a few words. In the end, she just decided to go for a simple reply, and hoped her feelings could be read between the lines. 

“The best change,” she replied, hoping Tommy could hear her hidden meaning within. 

At her reply, Tommy turned and caught Brianna’s eye, detecting a hidden meaning to her words. When he found her looking straight back at him, he knew he was right. He gave her a soft smile, letting her know he heard her clearly, which she reciprocated easily. 

-

A few hours passed, and Tommy had made the executive decision to stop somewhere the for the night. He had managed to find them a nice bed and breakfast, in a small town near Durham. From what she knew of geography, Brianna guessed that they were only a few hours away from the address Holly had given her. Even so, she had easily agreed to stop for the night, knowing Tommy was exhausted from driving all, as she was tired herself. Who knew sitting a car all day could be so tiring? 

When the two of them had asked about a room for the evening, they had been told that there was only one room left, although it did contain a double bed. The old lady at the reception had already mistaken them for a couple, so did not give either of them time to protest the option of sharing a room. Not that they would have, as they both doubted they would find anywhere nicer to stay at such short notice. So, the old lady had led them to the room they would spending the night. It was small room, but bigger than the ones both Tommy and Brianna slept in, it was also much cleaner than either of them were used to, as well as quieter. Along with the double bed, the room contained a couple of lounge chairs, a wash basin to share, and bookshelf that was much emptier than the one Brianna had growing up. Her bookshelf had always been overflowing with books. The woman had also explained that there were some shared facilities on their floor, including a toilet, which the duo were fine with, already used to having to share facilities at home.

Now, the pair of them had retired to their room for the night, after having had something to eat in the communal area downstairs. There were not many other guests in the building, most of them were young couples, so Tommy and Brianna fit in quite well, even though they both knew the truth. On more than one occasion, the old lady who had greeted them, had commented on how handsome she thought Tommy was, sending a few winks Brianna’s way. Brianna did not know how to respond, merely blushing whenever the lady mentioned it. She noticed Tommy did not have much to say either, just gave a light chuckle whenever he noticed the redness splotch over Brianna’s face

To be honest, Tommy was not bothered by the lady’s comments; but he was intrigued by the reaction they caused in Brianna. He so desperately wanted to know what her blush meant, but he kept his comments to himself, knowing it would only embarrass Brianna further. 

“It’s very pretty out here,” Brianna commented, peeking through the curtains, to take in the outside once again. 

“It is,” Tommy replied, from the seat he had taken in one of the chairs, although he was not really talking about the scenery outside. 

Brianna turned to look at Tommy, from her position by the curtains, and found him staring intently at her from across the room. The intensity in his eyes caused another blush to cross Brianna’s face, making her turn back to the window in order to disguise it. If she kept this up, her face would remain as red as a tomato forever. 

After another moment of looking out of the window, Brianna closed the curtains together again, and made her way to the chair opposite Tommy’s, and sat down. As she sat, she breathed out a heavy sigh and let herself relax into the chair. Neither of them spoke for a while, both enjoying the quietness of the room. 

“Why did you ask me to come with you?” Tommy asked abruptly, surprising himself. He had not meant to ask the question, but he had been thinking about it so much since Brianna had asked, that he knew it had to come out sooner or later. He had not expected it to slip out of him so brusquely though. 

“Oh,” was all Brianna could say immediately after the question was asked. She had not expected the question either. But, now it had been asked, Brianna sat up straighter in her chair and really began to think about it.

“I’m not truly sure,” Brianna said honestly. “I knew I didn’t want to come alone, but I also didn’t want to ask just anybody. And you seemed like the obvious choice. You’ve been so kind to me, and you seem to know what I need before I even ask for it. And… and I didn’t really want to take the train,” Brianna added on cheekily at the end, causing a slight smile to appear on Tommy’s face. 

Tommy was pleased with Brianna’s answer. Glad that he was her ‘obvious choice’ to go with her. Tommy knew if he were to ask anybody to do anything like this, Brianna would also be his ‘obvious choice’ now. After she had finished speaking, the two sat in silence once again. Neither had ever experienced anything like I before, a feeling where the silence was enough, where the silence was peaceful. Neither of them felt the need to talk, but knew they could freely if they were to. Both of them secretly hoped it was a feeling that would last for a long time. 

“We’re very similar, you and I Tommy,” Brianna spoke into the silence, her words making Tommy scoff. “No, we are. You may think we’re not because I look, and sound, more ‘innocent’ or naïve. But, we both know I’m not. We both know I’ve known pain Tommy, extreme pain. And we both know I’ve seen bad things, and I’ve done bad things. You’re not the only one in the world who feels the way you do, who has felt the things you’ve felt Tommy. Some of us are just better at hiding it,” Brianna took a deep breath in after her speech, knowing she was beginning to lay her feelings bare. “I suppose that’s why I asked you. Because I needed someone who thought like me, and who felt like me, to be there with me. And to be there for me. You’re that person Tommy, and I think you will be for a long time.”

Tommy sat in shock at Brianna’s words. He never expected that as an answer to his question, and he could not believe she had spent their time in silence thinking about it. Tommy was moved by what she had said, although he did not show it, he could not believe Brianna felt that way about him. That she felt such a deep connection to him. Although, now that she had put it into words, Tommy could not deny those feelings either. He felt that connection deep down too, her words were awakening it now. He felt that Brianna knew him on a different level to everyone else, he felt that she could read him with a look, and that unnerved him. No one had ever been able to read him so plainly before. But Brianna could. And Tommy was not sure if he wanted it to be any different. 

“I’m going to head off to bed now,” Brianna said, brushing her hand along Tommy’s shoulder as she passed him. He nodded after her, letting her know he had heard. He would be following her shortly, but he needed some time alone to try and comprehend these overwhelming feelings first. Although, it would take longer than a night to do so.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy! Sorry for any grammatical errors x

Brianna could not pinpoint exactly what had woken her up, all that she knew was that she was awake now. And from the lack of light filtering into the room, Brianna guessed it was not even an appropriate time to be awake now. Brianna sat up slightly, and looked around confused, forgetting where she was for a moment. A few grumblings to her right helped her realise she was not alone. After glancing down and seeing Tommy, the previous day came rushing back to Brianna, reminding her of where she was and she as with.

The grumblings to her right came again, and Brianna looked down once more to find Tommy was also beginning to squirm in his sleep. She leaned over him to find his face was scrunched up in pain, making Brianna’s concern for him grow. She brushed her palm across Tommy’s forehead gently, not wanting to wake him, and found it was warmer than it should be. 

Brianna pulled her hand away, and leaned back, a frown covering her face. She was not sure what to do, but the more grumbles that fell from Tommy’s lips, the more Brianna knew she had to do something. 

“Tommy,” Brianna said quietly, knowing enough to not startle him awake. When that did not work, Brianna took to shaking him slightly. That did not work either. 

“Tommy,” Brianna said again, louder this time. She shook him harder as well, hoping it would be enough.

After a moment, Tommy bolted upright in bed with a gasp. He began violently shaking and looking around the room. Looking for something to ground him. He was there. He was back in that tunnel. He could feel the tightness of the tunnel around him. He could taste the damp soil in the air. He could hear the men clamouring in behind him. But Tommy could hear something different this time thought. He strained his ears to hear it better, and was shocked by what he heard. He could hear the soothing murmurings of a familiar voice. A feminine voice. He looked to his left, and made out a figure. A soft looking figure, a feminine figure. 

“Brianna?” Tommy asked, just being able to make out the face. What on earth was she doing here? What was she doing down a tunnel in France?

“Tommy,” Brianna said gently, bringing her hand to caress Tommy’s cheek. She could see the wild look in his eyes, she could tell he was not in the room. She hoped touching him would ground him enough to bring him back to the present, bring him back to the room. 

Brianna could physically see the moment Tommy returned to the room. His breathing become more even, his shoulders dropped, and more importantly, he lost the frantic look in his eyes. They appeared to become focused again, and instead of staring through her, he was staring at Brianna. 

“Brianna?” Tommy asked again, much more softly this time.

“Yes Tommy, it’s me. It’s Brianna,” Brianna replied, placing her other hand on Tommy’s opposite cheek, making sure he kept his eyes on her in case he was not fully back in the room. 

Brianna saw Tommy take a deep breath, and naturally deflate with it, as if he were breathing out the memory he had been trapped in. He then lunged forward and captured Brianna in the tight grip of his arms. He had hugged her before, but never like this. His arms were like a vice, trapping Brianna to his body, so even she had wanted to move, she had no choice in the matter. But, not wanting to move, Brianna awkwardly rearranged her arms around Tommy, and made their hg even tighter. 

“It’s okay Tommy, you’re okay now,” Brianna whispered smoothly to Tommy, running one of her hands across the back of his head. She felt the sharp spikes of the shaved part ease into the softness of the length of hair on the top of his head over and over again; and felt herself relaxing with the repetitive movement. 

“I thought I was back there. I thought I was in France,” Tommy rushed out, feeling the need to explain himself. He felt himself begin to panic again as he repeated what he thought had happened, but he was easily calmed this time with the movement of Brianna’s hand in his hair. 

“I know, I know. But it was just a dream. You’re not in France anymore, you’re not digging tunnels anymore,” Brianna said. Her gentle tone and continuing movement of her hand helped calm Tommy further, and he felt his eyes involuntarily close as he relaxed. “You’re safe now Tommy, you’re safe.”

Brianna felt more of Tommy’s weight push into her, and she knew he was beginning to relax so much that he was verging on sleep once again. However, instead of trying to release Tommy, so he could lay down by himself once again; Brianna eased them both into laying back down on the bed, with Tommy’s head hidden in the crook between her shoulder and her neck. 

Brianna continued running her hand across the back of Tommy’s head until she felt his breathing completely ease, letting her know he had fallen back to sleep. After that, Brianna moved her hand to Tommy’s back, and began gently stroking up and down there instead. It was a move she knew her father used to do whenever she had experienced a bad dream when she was younger. The movement helped to remind her she was safe, as she used to think nothing could hurt her when her father was around. The movement had also helped ease her, and keep her, to sleep, which is why she continued to move her hand well after Tommy had fallen asleep. She worried he would wake up if she stopped, and she did not want that, as he had another long day of driving ahead of him tomorrow. 

Eventually, the repetition of moving her hand back and forth began to relax Brianna herself, and before she knew it, she had also fallen back to sleep, with only an hour or two until sunrise. 

-

Brianna could feel the nerves bubbling around in her stomach as Tommy rounded the car around the last corner towards the address Holly had given her. After the interruption to their sleep, the two of them had slept soundly for the rest of the morning. Neither of them spoke about what happened, but with the lingering glances Tommy kept sending Brianna, coated with confusion, but also hints of happiness, Brianna knew he remembered she had done for him. She was just not sure what the looks meant after what had happened. 

After a quick breakfast, the two of them had gotten back on the road, and taken the rest of the trip in a comfortable silence. Even the brief glimpses the kept sending each other were not uncomfortable, although they were confusing on Brianna’s end. She let them go though, her mind beginning to focus more on what was about to happen with her sister than anything else. She would have time to think, and talk, to Tommy after. But for right now, she needed to concentrate on her sister, and what she was going to say to her when they saw each other again. 

“So, this is it?” Brianna asked softly, taking in the house Tommy stopped the car in front of.

“I think this is the house, yes,” Tommy said, turning to look at Brianna. She had been quiet all morning, but he knew that to be more from nerves than whatever happened last night.   
There would be time for her to think about that later, seeing her sister was a more pressing. 

Tommy watched as Brianna took in a deep, shaky breath, and pushed herself out of the car. He watched as she walked up the path the front door of the house. She paused halfway up and turned back to look at Tommy, wondering why he was not following her. He nodded his head, telling her to go on without him. He knew she needed this time with her sister alone. She would have so many emotions swirling around, she did not need to worry about him or what he was doing. Tommy was happy to wait in the car for as long as the meeting took. 

Brianna turned back around and carried on up the path to the front door. She would have liked Tommy by her side, but she knew this was something she needed to do by herself. Knowing he was behind her, willing her on, was enough support for her, it was enough to help her raise her hand and knock on the door in front of her. 

It was not long before Brianna could hear footsteps approaching the door, and a young woman was opening the door. 

Brianna could not stop her tears from flowing over as she took in the sight before her. Her sister looked the same, slightly older, but just as beautiful. Her face looked wearier, the physical evidence of what she had been through over the years, but she still maintained her youthful quality, heightened by the cheeky glint that remained in her eyes. Her hair was shorter, accentuating her features, making her look sharper; but somehow Brianna knew that would only be her looks, her sister was never sharp, it was one of the few similarities they shared. 

“Brianna?” Holly asked softly, not able to believe this was her sister yet.

“Yeah,” Brianna said, trying to sniff back her tears, “it’s me Holly. It’s Brianna.”

“Oh my gosh,” Holly said, before grabbing onto her sister and pulling her into the tightest hug of her life. 

Once in each other’s arms, the two sisters began crying once again. Neither of them tried to stop themselves, not willing to let go of one another now that they hold of each other again. 

“I’ve missed you so much,” Brianna said into Holly’s shoulder.

“Me too, me too,” Holly replied, and held onto her sister even tighter. 

-

After hugging for an unknown amount of time, the two sisters finally let go of each other, and took in each other’s appearances once again. They were both aware that they probably had matching tear tracks down their faces, causing them to laugh lightly at each other. Brianna could not believe this was happening. She never thought she would laugh, or cry, with her sister again. It was unreal.

After their small bout of laughter, Holly had invited her sister inside for some tea, which Brianna easily agreed to, not even thinking about the man in the car at the bottom of the path. The man who watched the two sisters interact with a small smile on his face. Once the two of them entered the house, Tommy reached into the back of the car for the paper he had smartly picked up this morning, and resigned himself to be in the same position for the rest of the day. 

Holly led Brianna down a short hallway, into a small kitchen, where Holly then directed Brianna to sit around a small table that took up the back corner of the room. As she went to sit, Brianna took in everything that was around her. There were many drawings stuck up around the room, obviously done by the hand of a young child. There were little trinkets everywhere, giving the room a very ‘lived-in’ feeling. The mismatched crookery had obviously all been picked out at different times, but it made the room feel homelier than their childhood house ever had. Overall, Brianna knew everything in the room had been picked out, and designed with love, something that their mother had always failed to do. She had wanted the house to look more pristine and picturesque, than homely and lived in, making the house more static than a home. Brianna could see that Holly had done everything in her power to make her home have the opposite feeling. 

As Brianna sat down at the table, she could not stop her eyes from continuing to dart around the room, not wanting to miss anything. 

“Do you like it?” Holly asked, as she leaned against the sideboard where she was preparing the tea.

“It’s wonderful,” Brianna replied. She was not able to stop the emotion that clogged up her throat, causing Holly to give her a soft smile, the difference in homes still got to her sometimes too. Holly turned back to the counter and finished preparing the tea, giving Brianna time to take in the rest of the room in peace, and begin to pull herself together. 

After that, it did not take Holly too long to prepare the tea. She carefully balanced everything on the tray and made the quick walk towards the table Brianna was sitting at. She began to lay everything out, whilst also stealing glances at Brianna, still finding it hard to believe her little sister was actually here, in her house. 

“Before we talk about anything else, I just need to know, are you okay?” Holly asked, finally voicing the question she had thought of as soon as she saw her sister standing on her doorstep. For all the years she had been gone, she had felt incredibly guilty about leaving Brianna behind with their mother, but at the time her only thoughts were getting herself and her unborn child out of there. Holly had wanted to go back for years, to see how her sister was, and to get her out of there, but something kept holding her back. Her lingering fear of her mother being the primary reason. She had her own family to think of. Holly had just resorted in praying for Brianna’s safety. And, by the looks of things, those prayers had been answered, but she needed to know what lay underneath. They both knew what her mother was capable of.

“I’m… I’m okay,” Brianna said hesitantly, unsure of how to really answer that question. She was physically okay now, and she was mentally beginning to recover, but so much had happened since Brianna had last seen Holly, and none of it had been okay. “I’m okay now,” Brianna settled with, hoping Holly could hear her implication.

Holly took a deep breath, understanding what Brianna was saying. There was so much to talk about, and Holly knew most of it would be horrible, and most of it would keep her awake at night, filled with guilt.

“Please tell me, what happened after I left?” Holly asked, desperately needing to know.

“You really want to know?” Brianna said. Holly nodded in response. 

So, Brianna took a deep breath, and began filling her sister in on everything she had missed in the past few years, the good and the bad.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a very dialogue heavy chapter, I hope you enjoy x

“Hol, why is there man sat in a car at the end of the house?” A loud masculine voice shouted through the house, before Brianna could hear whoever it was make their way towards the kitchen. Before Holly could answer the voice, the person it belonged to appeared in the kitchen. 

“Oh, hello,” the man said as he spotted Brianna sitting at the table with Holly. He gave her a small wave, but before Brianna could return it, a smaller boy came rushing around the corner, already knowing the exact direction her needed to go.

“Mummy!” the child screamed, running straight for Holly and wrapping their small arms around Holly’s waist. 

“Hello darling,” Holly said, running her hand through the little boy’s hair, and looking at him with such love in her eyes in made Brianna’s heart ache. Brianna watched the scene with a soft smile, immediately seeing a resemblance to Holly, and herself, in the little boy. 

The little boy soon turned his head away from Holly’s waist, and looked at Brianna. At seeing the stranger sitting at his table, he clutched to his mother even tighter. Holly and Brianna turned to look at each other with soft smiles, their hearts melting at the boy’s behaviour. 

“Honey,” Holly said, running her hand through her little boy’s hair again, “this is your Auntie. This is my sister, Brianna,” Holly turned to the man still stood in the doorway with her last sentence. He gave Brianna a smile and a nod, letting her know he knew exactly who she was. Brianna returned the gesture with a small wave, and a smile of her own, before she turned back to the little boy. 

“Hello," Brianna began, leaning in towards the little boy, "you know, I don’t know your name yet,” Brianna spoke with a gentle voice, hoping to coax the boy from his mother, and get him to interact with her. At her statement, the boy turned up to look at his mother. When she nodded, he turned back to Brianna and watched her for a moment, seeming to be making up his mind about something.

After a minute or so, the boy detached himself from Holly, and walked until he was stood in front of Brianna. “I’m Henry,” he said, holding out his hand for Brianna to shake.

“Hello Henry, it’s very nice to meet you,” Brianna replied, shaking his hand.

“You’re Brianna.”

“I am,” Brianna said with a chuckle. 

“You're mummy’s sister.”

“I am.”

“She misses you,” Henry said, not knowing his words made Brianna’s heart feel heavy.

“I miss her too,” Brianna said, turning to look at her sister. They caught eyes for a moment, and both feeling the emotion of the moment, knowing it could not be put into words. 

“It’s good you’re here then. You can stay with us now, and be with mummy forever,” Henry said, causing all the adults in the room to laugh at how easy the situation was in his childish mind. 

“Darling, that’s an excellent idea,” Holly said, getting her son’s attention again, “but why don’t you go into the other room and play for a while.”

“Okay,” Henry said, agreeing easily to the suggestion of toys. “You won’t leave, will you?” he asked Brianna.

“I won’t go without saying goodbye,” Brianna promised, tapping Henry on the nose, sending him away with a smile. 

After he left the room, the man in the doorway came forward with his hand held out, introducing himself as Mark. He went to kiss Holly on the cheek, before announcing he would join Henry in the other room, leaving the two sisters alone once again.

“He seems nice,” Brianna said to Holly, after Mark had shut the behind him.

Holly looked down, a blush covering her face, “he is lovely,” she said, before looking back at Brianna, with a serious expression shadowing her face. “It was really hard after I found out about Nick. His family are lovely, and they help me out a lot, but it wasn’t the same. They weren’t Nick. But, I coped for the first few years, and then I met Mark. He runs the Sunday school at the church we go to, in the village, and he was immediately besotted with Henry, as most people are; and I was immediately besotted with him. And, the rest is history.” A small smile appeared on Holly’s face once again, making the one Brianna wore spread out further across her face. “Sometimes I think he’s too good to be true, but sometimes I like to think the world is giving back after everything it put me through. It makes it easier to sleep at night anyway.”

“I think that’s true,” Brianna said, “and I think that's beautiful.”

The two sisters shared another smile, and another look charged with emotion. They went quiet again for a moment, both taking the time to sip their tea.

“He’s right you know,” Holly said, making Brianna confused.

“Sorry?” Brianna asked.

“Henry. I mean, I don’t how simple it would be for you, but you’re more than welcome to stay here. To live here,” Holly said. 

“Oh,” was all Brianna could get out. And before she could think any further, Holly reached across the table, and grabbed her sister’s hand.

“I can’t pretend to upset about what’s happened since I’ve been gone, because I haven’t had that connection to our parents in a while, not even dad. But, I know you’re still hurting, and you probably will be for a while. So, I think, after everything you’ve been through, after all you’ve had to put up with, you deserve to rest now. And you can do that here, with people who love you, unconditionally.”

Brianna could feel herself welling up once again. Although the emotion was largely down to what Holly was offering, and saying, it was also at thought of accepting. If she accepted, she would have to leave behind everything she had just begun to start building, and the people who had started to help her build it. She would have to leave Polly, and Finn, and all the other Shelby’s. She would have to leave Tommy. And that thought did not sit right with her. Even though they seemed to be in a grey area at the moment, Brianna knew what she wanted to happen, and she wanted to be around for it to happen.

“I will be forever grateful to you for that offer, and I hope it remains open, if I should ever need it,” Brianna said, placing her other hand on top of the one Holly had placed on hers; “and I hope to come up here as much as I can now.”

“But?” Holly asked, after Brianna paused for a moment.

“But, I think I’ve found my place to rest, with other people I know who love me just the same as you, who love me unconditionally. I think I’ve finally found my place Holly,” Brianna said, feeling a smile spread across her face as she said her thoughts out loud, knowing how true they were.

“Does this have to do with whoever is sat in the car at the bottom of our drive?” Holly asked. Her voice held a teasing tone, letting Brianna know it was okay that she had turned down the offer, and her eyes told Brianna that the offer would remain open for as long as she liked.

“Maybe,” Brianna said, trying to stop her cheeks from flaming, and failing immensely. Holly laughed at her sister’s blushing, and after hearing what had happened in her absence, she had a sneaky suspicion she knew who it might be. 

“Well, I best go meet him then,” Holly declared, pushing herself from her chair and making her way towards the door. 

“Wait. What?” Brianna asked, rushing after Holly, scared what she might do when she saw who was waiting for her.

-

“So, Thomas Shelby hey?” Holly said in lieu of a greeting, letting Brianna know her sister had joined her. She blushed at her sister’s question, Holly had always known about Brianna's invested interest in the second eldest Shelby brother.

“Yes, Thomas Shelby,” Brianna said, turning back to look at the man in question. He was currently spread out on the floor, alongside both Henry and Mark, where the three of them had managed to set up Henry’s new trainset. If she were being honest, Tommy and Mark seemed to be enjoying themselves more than Henry.

“I’ve never seen him like this,” Holly whispered to Brianna. She found it hard to believe Tommy had been the one to help and bring her sister here, never-mind him playing with her son and his trainset. 

Brianna just shrugged at Holly’s statement. She had never seen Tommy quite like this either, but she had seen glimpses of his softer side. She knew it was there, as it was usually directed towards her when he showed it. Although, he never seemed to be able to say no to John’s little girl, Katie. Clearly, he had a softer spot for the women in his life, especially the more innocent ones. 

“You’ve got him wrapped round your finger,” Holly said, nudging Brianna’s side, making her blush even harder.

“Be quiet,” Brianna protested, pushing her sister away, but still letting a small come onto her face. She had been so pleased when Tommy agreed to come back inside with them, she barely questioned how quickly it took him to say yes, until her sister said that. 

“What are you ladies conspiring about over there,” Mark said, sitting back on his heels, his attention being caught by their antics. As had Tommy’s, but he preferred to remain elusive, and kept his concentration on Henry and his train set. Not that it was hard, even he knew he was having too much fun playing with them. 

“Nothing,” both sisters said, giggling after they said it at the same time. 

Tommy smiled even wider at the sound, even happier he had agreed to bring Brianna here after hearing it. He would do whatever he could to hear that joyful sound every day, even if that meant making this journey once a week. 

When they had finally gotten a moment alone, Brianna had told Tommy about her sister’s offer for her to come here permanently, and move in with them. He had felt so disheartened at the thought that Brianna might have accepted, that he could not hide his delight when she said she had turned her down. His delight grew as she said that did not need to move here to be with family, she already had one of those back in Small Heath. 

Tommy had not been able to keep the smile off his face since then, and he was not sure what it would take to wipe it off at the moment. He knew he wanted something more to happen with Brianna, so he was more pleased knowing that he would still have the chance to make that something happen. And hopefully it would happen soon. 

“Right mister, I think it’s time for bed,” Holly announced to Henry, snapping Tommy out of his thoughts. He could hear Henry start to whine, and after sparing a glance towards Brianna, he began to think of a way to use this situation to let her sister know she was leaving Brianna in the right hands. 

“Hey,” Tommy said catching Henry’s attention, minutes away from having a tantrum, “how about, before we leave tomorrow, we have another go with these trains.”

“Yes please,” Henry nodded his head eagerly, having become attached to Tommy as soon as they met.

“Okay. That can only happen if you do as your mum says and go to bed right now,” Tommy said, with a pointed look, surprising himself with the paternal tone his voice had taken. 

“Okay,” was all Henry got out before he raced from the room, more eager than Holly had ever seen him to get to bed.

“Thank you,” Holly said to Tommy, to which he replied with a nod, before she followed her son out of the room to help him prepare for bed. And she was soon followed by Mark, leaving Brianna and Tommy alone for the first time in a few hours. 

Tommy turned to look at Brianna, and saw an unknown emotion swimming in her eyes, “what?” he asked, feeling himself heat up at the look her eyes held. He had never seen that look in them before. He only hoped it meant what he thought it did. 

“You are something else Tommy Shelby,” was all Brianna said with a shake of her head. She desperately hoped he could not read the depth of emotion in her eyes, that was not something she could open up about, not here and now. But maybe soon. 

“I hope that’s a good thing,” Tommy said.

“It’s a very good thing,” Brianna replied, sharing a smile with him at her answer. 

The two continued looking at each other for a couple of minutes, before Mark came back into the room. “Holly wanted me to let you know, that we only have one guest bed. So, you’ll either have to share, or one of you will have to take the sofa,” he said, looking between the pair for an answer.

Tommy and Brianna shared a different look this time, one that was extremely intense, but was also tinged with some king of mirth at remembering the night before. Brianna blushed at the intense way Tommy was staring at her, but knowing her eyes held the same intensity, she could not help it, the night they shared had also been intense. 

“I think we’ll share,” Tommy said on behalf of both them. Brianna nodded along, confirming she was okay with that. 

Mark left the room once again, claiming he was going to make up the bed, leaving the two alone once again. They shared one more look, filled with pleasure at the chance to share a bed again, before they followed the path Mark had just taken, and joined him in the guest bedroom.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really struggled to write this, so I hope you enjoy x

Brianna could not sleep. She was not nervous, or anxious, scared, or even excited. She just could not sleep. The more she tried to force herself to, the more awake she felt. She had been tracing the cracks in the ceiling for the past 30 minutes, when she decided a change in position might help. So, she rolled onto her right-hand side, and faced the inside of the bed, and the man who lay there. Brianna was extremely jealous, Tommy had appeared to fall asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

“Are you going to sleep anytime soon?” Tommy asked, with his eyes still closed.

“You’re not asleep?” Brianna asked back, surprise coating her tone. She swore he had been asleep this whole time.

“Doesn’t look like it,” was all Tommy had to say in reply. 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Brianna asked. 

“Because some of us like to not-sleep in silence, in hope that they might fall asleep. Tossing and turning never seems to help.”

Brianna blushed at Tommy’s words, a feeling of guilt coming over at the thought she was the one keeping him awake. “I’m sorry,” she said in reply.

Tommy laughed lightly at Brianna’s reply. Somehow, he knew she wold blame herself for his insomnia. “Don’t be. This would be happening if you were here or not.”

“I’m sorry,” Brianna said again, more heartfelt this time. 

“It’s okay.”

“It’s not though,” Brianna said. “My dad barely slept when he came back, and when he did… it wasn’t nice. I used to hear him when he had his nightmares, shouting into the night for everyone to stop. He wanted everyone to stop,” she took a deep breath, “he only managed a peaceful sleep when I stayed in the room with him, but he hated when I did that. Didn’t want me losing sleep over him. But I did it anyway, when I could. I would do it every night now if he came back. I hope wherever he is now is more peaceful. He deserves somewhere peaceful.” 

Tommy sighed at Brianna’s speech. He hated that she knew so much about the horrors many men from the war came back with. But he also saw it as a blessing in disguise. He never had to explain his feelings to her, or why he reacted to things the way he did, she just knew. She also seemed to know how to help him, whether she was aware of it or not. And, much like her father, her presence alone soothed him. She did not take the horror away, but she made it easier to deal with, she made it manageable. 

“Come here,” Tommy said gruffly, lifting his left arm up and moving it over Brianna’s head.

“What?” Brianna asked, feeling movement from beside her.

“Just. Come here,” Tommy said again. He slid his arm under Brianna’s head and pulled her into him. As soon as her body made contact with his, she tensed up. Not only had she never been this close to a man before, she had only ever dreamt of being _this_ close to Tommy for a long time. She had no idea what was happening. 

“Relax,” Tommy instructed. Brianna took a deep breath in, and on her outward breath she did just as Tommy said. And once she did, she found that her body moulded directly into Tommy’s side, as if the curves of her body were made to fit the curves of his. 

Tommy began running his fingers up and down Brianna’s arm in such a soothing motion she felt her eyes begin to drift close. Her head lolled forward and landed on Tommy’s chest, where she was soothed further by the repetitive motion of his chest moving up and down. 

They were both asleep in minutes.

-

Brianna and Tommy were back on the road. After they had both fallen asleep last night, they had both experienced a peaceful and uninterrupted sleep, making them both feel more rested than they had in a while. The two of them then woke up to a lazy morning with Holly and her family, before the pair had a short discussion and decided to depart that day. With a few tears, and an easy promise to venture this far north again soon, Brianna left her sister feeling much lighter than when she had arrived. Whilst it had been a short visit, Brianna knew now was the right time to leave. She knew Holly would need some time alone with her family to process everything she had told her; and Brianna needed some time alone herself to process the fact that she had finally seen her sister again after all this time. But the promise she made had been an easy one to make, and Brianna knew it would be an easy one to keep, as she was already working out when she would be able to come back up again. And Brianna knew if she came again, she would be able to make the journey alone, but she hoped that Tommy would come with her again. Just for the company, of course. 

Brianna did not know what it was but she could feel a change between herself and Tommy. Although, that could just be coming from her side, and Tommy might not be able to feel it at all. Her feelings had been growing for a while, but these past few days had really cemented them in place for Brianna. Now, she was just worried that the feelings on her mind would somehow blurt out her mouth unexpectedly, and she would ruin things with Tommy. Since they had left her sister’s house, and were once again placed into a confined space together, that worry was all Brianna could think about. 

They were a few hours into the journey, and Tommy could Brianna was getting restless in her seat. He knew they were in the middle of some beautiful countryside, so he made the executive decision to pull the car over when they came across the next field. 

“What are you doing?” Brianna asked when she felt the car slowing down. 

“Stopping,” Tommy said simply, causing Brianna to roll her eyes.

“I know that. But, why?”

“Because I think we could both do with a stop,” Tommy said, still not explaining why, as he rolled the car to a complete stop. Before Brianna could ask ‘why’ again, Tommy opened his door and got out of the car. Brianna watched as he lit a cigarette he pulled from his coat pocket, and walked to the front of the car, where he stopped. 

Tommy leaned against the bonnet, leisurely taking puffs from his cigarette as he waited for Brianna to get out of the car. When he heard no sound at all, he turned around to see Brianna had made no movement to get out of the car. She seemed to be watching him intently instead. She watched as he turned to face her, and gestured with his head for her to get out of the car. 

When Brianna reached Tommy, she copied his stance and also leaned against the car bonnet. They stood in silence for a few minutes, gazing out into the wide expense of field before them. As Tommy finished his cigarette, he heard Brianna take a heavy breath beside him, and braced himself for whatever she was about to say. 

When Brianna did not speak straight away, Tommy leaned over and begin searching his coat for another cigarette to light. He had gone through most of his stash yesterday whilst he waited for Brianna. 

“I can’t stop thinking about you Tommy.”

Tommy froze in his search when he heard Brianna’s words. He slowly straightened himself back up to face Brianna, but found her gaze still stoically placed on the field before them.   
Even though the worry of this happening had been on Brianna’s mind all morning, she did not expect it to come out here and now. But now ad said it, she did not feel embarrassed or ashamed, she felt relieved. Now she had finally said it out loud, and given a voice to her feelings, she wanted to say more. She needed to say more, or her feelings would begin to consume her. 

“It’s becoming a problem actually. Because even now, with you here, I can’t stop thinking about you.”

Tommy continued to stare at the side of Brianna’s head while she talked, urging her to just turn and look at him. Which, after she took another deep breath, she did. Brianna could not read the look in Tommy’s eyes. It was a mixture of shock and something else. She had no idea what that something else might be, but she hoped it was something good. 

“You are on my mind day and night. When I’m not with you I’m thinking of when I can see you again, and when I’m with you I’m thinking of ways to keep you with me. That’s probably the real reason I invited you up here with me. And I know it’s entirely selfish, because you have a whole family relying on you, who need you; but I want to be with you all the time, and I want to help you in any way I can; even if that just means staying up with you at night when you have a nightmare. You’ve helped me in more ways you can imagine, and now I want to do the same for you.”

Brianna tried to gauge Tommy’s reaction after what she had said, but his face was unreadable. He also did not look close to saying anything. The longer he stayed quiet, the more Brianna began to worry. She knew her feelings might come as a surprise to Tommy, but she had hoped he would say something after she had confessed them. Or at least give her some inclination as to what he was thinking. 

Tommy’s eyes darted between Brianna’s, before they quickly darted down to her lips. He immediately shot his eyes back up to Brianna’s, and hoped that she did not notice their shift. However, she did notice when he slowly began to lean further towards her. He got so close that Brianna could feel his breath fan over her face every time he breathed out. 

Tommy shifted slightly, so both of his hands were free from his coat pockets. He smoothly placed his left hand on Brianna’s hip. She barely felt him place it there. But she did feel when he placed his right hand on her neck. She gasped as he used the hand to angle her face more towards his. 

Brianna gulped when she felt Tommy’s thumb caress her jaw. He moved closer again, making Brianna have to crane her neck back slightly, in order to maintain eye contact. Tommy’s eyes continued to dart between Brianna’s, until he allowed himself to look at her lips again. His gaze lingered this time, making sure Brianna knew where he was looking. Making sure she knew what his intentions were. 

Tommy tugged slightly on Brianna’s neck from where he was holding her, moving her face an inch away from his. He brought his gaze back up to her eyes. He tried to read the emotion that was swimming in them. Making sure there no hesitation. No reluctance. 

He felt, rather than saw, Brianna’s imperceptible nod of her head. It was the consent he needed, before he dived in and pressed his lips against hers. 

The kiss was everything Brianna had thought it would be. His lips were soft, but the pressure he applied was hard enough to make a statement. It was perfect. But it was over far too soon for Brianna’s liking. Although, his next words made up for it. 

“I can’t stop thinking about you either,” Tommy whispered against Brianna’s lips, causing her smile to overtake her face. Tommy could not help but mirror her expression, before he leaned in for another kiss. 

“I want to be with you all the time too,” Tommy said as he pulled away again. He kept his hands where they were placed on Brianna’s body, and leant his forehead against hers. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes, as he took a second to comprehend what had just happened. He had finally kissed Brianna, and it was much better than he had dreamt it would be. He would not mind doing it again and again. Which, after her confession, he was sure that was something he could do. Again and again.

Brianna leaned up and kissed Tommy this time, relishing in the fact that she could do that freely now. They gave each one more peck on the lips, before disconnecting and leaning on the front of the car again. Except this time, they were much closer than before, with Brianna’s arm looped through Tommy’s, and her head leaning against the top of his arm. 

Brianna took a deep sigh of content, and gazed out at the mass of countryside before them. After that kiss, Brianna felt something settle inside of her. The whole experience of the past few days had really helped calm down her thoughts, but that kiss was final seal. Her thoughts no longer felt erratic, or out of control, they were now calmed, and centring entirely on the man next to her. She knew they had a lot to talk about, and much more to settle before she could call what they had a relationship; but this was more than enough for now. This would tide her heart over until they could figure everything else out, which Brianna hoped would not take as long as it had for her to reveal her feelings. 

“Tommy?” Brianna said from where she stood leaning against him. He hummed in reply, silently telling her to continue. “Let’s go home.”

Tommy turned down to look at Brianna once again, and tucked a stray hair behind her ear, giving her another glance at the soft-hearted man she knew lay underneath all his hardness. “Let’s.” he said, taking her hand in his and leading her back to the car. 

The trip back to Birmingham did not feel nearly as long as it had taken to leave, probably due to the fact Brianna and Tommy chatted all the way this time. From mindless chatter, to discussing everything that had happened to Brianna over all the weeks, to Tommy’s work, there was not one topic left untouched. So, by the time they reached the outskirts of Birmingham, Brianna felt like she knew Tommy on a deeper level than before, and vice versa. It made her sure that once they did discuss their feelings again, it would be much easier for the pair to transition into a relationship. They already meant so much to each other, but now they meant even more. Now, they signified a future for each other, a future Brianna was more excited than ever to see.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this is not the greatest, as I've had a really hard time writing this chapter, BUT I wanted to get something up! I also want to say that this is the official last chapter of this story, I may dip in and out with a couple of chapters showing segments of Brianna and Tommy's life in their future years, but I thought this would be the best place to leave their story for now.   
> I just want to say a HUGE thank you to everyone who commented, bookmarked, and left kudos on this story, because it really became my driving force in the end, and has given me such confidence to continue writing, and hopefully start writing something new in the future!  
> Much love to you all, and happy reading! xx

“I received another letter from Holly yesterday,” Brianna said to Tommy whilst she was making them their morning tea. Tommy hummed from his place at the table, reading his paper, and barely paying attention to what Brianna was saying, not that it stopped her. “She’s invited us to Henry’s birthday next weekend.”

This caused Tommy to finally look up, “next weekend?” he asked, raising a brow in Brianna’s direction, even though he knew she was not looking. 

“Yep,” Brianna confirmed, turning to look at Tommy. She did not like the expression on his face. “Look, I know you’re busy at the moment, with all the horses, and the new Inspector, and… the guns,” Brianna whispered the last part, having now learnt that anyone could be listening in on their conversations; “but it’s one weekend, and it’s my nephew, and I’ve not been up in a couple of weeks…”

“Brianna,” Tommy said, trying to interrupt, with no success.

“…I can go on my own, but she asked for you as well, so I thought I’d ask anyway, even though I know you’ll say no…”

“Brianna,” Tommy said again, having stood up and made his way towards Brianna now. He grasped her forearms to get her attention, causing Brianna to stop talking. “I’m not going to say no.”

“You’re not?” Brianna asked dubiously.

“I think we could do with a weekend off,” Tommy said with a smirk, watching as an actual smile took over Brianna’s face. 

“Thomas Shelby,” Brianna said wistfully, stretching up to wrap her arms around his neck, “you may have all of Birmingham fooled, but I know you have a heart of gold.”

Tommy hummed, placing his hands on Brianna’s waist and leaning towards her, “only for you love,” he said, before placing his lips over hers. Even though they had kissed regularly since their first one, a couple months ago, neither Tommy or Brianna could get over how good it felt whenever their lips touched. It was so good that it had persuaded Brianna to take things to the next level a few weeks ago. And it had been perfect. And they had barely been able to take their hands off each other since then. 

“Oh God,” a voice said, as they came into the kitchen to find Tommy and Brianna kissing, again. 

The pair pulled away from each other, sharing a secret smile, before turning to greet Ada, who had just rounded the bottom of the stairs. 

“Morning Ada,” Brianna said brightly, instantly in a good mood after her and Tommy’s conversation. Tommy just nodded his head at his sister, going back to the table and picking up his paper once again. Ada joined him, sitting at the other end, whilst Brianna added another cup to her line up of tea. 

“You look tired this morning,” Tommy commented, without taking his eyes off the paper. But the two women in the room knew who he was talking to. 

“Do I?” Ada replied, attempting to be nonchalant. 

“We barely heard you come in last night,” Tommy said, peering over the top of his paper to look at his sister, who was looking anywhere in the room besides her brother. Brianna ducked her chin to her chest, hiding her smile at Tommy’s implication of her being with him. 

“Surprised you heard me at all,” Ada said with a smirk, looking too much like her brother in that moment. She turned to look at Brianna, and noticed the blush that had begun to cover her face, making Ada’s smirk wider than before. She faced forward again, and finally made eye contact with Tommy over his paper. He gave her pointed look, before turning back to his paper and leaving the conversation where it was. He would question his sister again later, although he knew it would probably go just as well as this time had, Ada had definitely gained the Shelby stubbornness. 

Another pair of footsteps rounded the corner, making Brianna roll her eyes and place another cup down on the side. She prayed the kettle would boil soon, she was tired of standing here now. 

“Morning Pol’” Brianna said without turning around. She knew the morning routine in the Shelby house by now; Tommy was up first, at the crack of dawn, Polly and Ada followed slowly, in whatever order they woke up, and then Arthur would surface sometime around noon. Although, from the state he was in last night, Brianna knew noon would be far too early for him today. 

As for John, Brianna had no idea when he would turn up, as his time worked around his children. Brianna often made her way to his house before he made it work, relieving him of his duties, and attempting to teach the children something useful. They had already reached the age of refusing to go to school, and the only person they appeared to listen to was Brianna, something John was extremely thankful for. 

“Morning” Polly said distractedly, still putting her earrings in. She moved quickly across the room into the kitchen, and after clasping the back of her earrings, began rooting through the cupboards for bread and jam for her breakfast.

As the three Shelby’s in the room started up a small conversation, Brianna turned back to preparing the tea with a small smile on her face. She had not felt this content in a long time, if ever. She had been living with the Shelby’s for a few months, becoming part of their routines, and their family unit. Brianna happily spent her days looking after all the children in the Shelby in family, and trying to teach them what she could. Her evenings were usually spent with the older Shelby’s, whether down at The Garrison or sat around the kitchen table discussing details of whatever plan Tommy had come up with that day. 

Tommy had slowly been introducing Brianna to the family business, and everything that entailed; and whilst she did not agree with everything they were doing, she was trying not to judge them too harshly, as she knew she benefitted from most of the schemes they got themselves into. But, Brianna really did not like the days when Tommy came back with a shadow hanging over him, indicating that his actions that day had been less than savoury. She found that when Tommy was down, she was down too, so she always tried her best to push through and be there for Tommy, making sure the darkness of what he did, did not overcome him. And whilst no one said so, she knew everyone appreciated her doing that, giving Brianna a bigger sense of purpose, and a feeling like she truly belonged within the family, that her presence was needed. 

“Are you almost done over there?” Brianna heard Tommy ask, pulling her out of her thoughts. She turned back to apologise, sharing a brief smile with Tommy, before turning back and actually finishing the tea this time. Brianna carried everything over to the table, and took her usual spot next to Tommy. The conversation continued around her, but Brianna was content to sit back and listen, knowing her voice was needed at the moment. 

Instead, Brianna tilted her head slightly, and looked at Tommy for a while. She was pleased to see a smile on his face this morning, with the lines on his face being cause by happiness rather than stress or sadness. Brianna had recently noticed that Tommy seemed happier now than when she had first come back into his life, and she truly hoped that some of that happiness was due to her, and the relationship they had started. She knew that she was also much happier since she had come back to the Shelby’s, and that was mainly down to Tommy, although the rest of the family did help, but Tommy was the main source of her happiness these days. 

Whilst Ada and Polly began to argue over something trivial, Tommy turned to his left, feeling a pair of eyes burning into the side of his head. He turned to find Brianna looking at him intently, as she seemed to be studying him. She jumped lightly as he turned, not expecting to gain his attention, too absorbed with looking at his face to notice he had stopped talking. 

Tommy’s brow furrowed at her actions, a small amount of worry overcoming him, wondering why Brianna was acting the way she was, and why she had been so quiet all morning. 

“Are you okay?” Tommy asked quietly, not wanting to alert the two Shelby women that there might be a problem. 

“I think I’m in love with you,” Brianna said, just as quietly as Tommy had, not wanting the other two women to hear her either. Her eyes had been focused on Tommy’s lips as he spoke, but once she said the words, her eyes darted up to look into his, wanting to read his immediate reaction, if possible. 

Tommy’s lips parted a Brianna’s words, not expecting to hear her saying that this morning, or before himself. If he was being honest, Tommy had been having those feelings for a long time now, and he had always been worried he would blurt them out at the most inappropriate moment. But, it looked like Brianna had beaten him to it. 

After he did not say anything for a couple of seconds, Brianna began to panic. She had not meant to say them, but when Tommy asked if she was okay, she could not stop the words from tumbling from her mouth. She knew they were the right ones to say though, she had been feeling them for weeks now, and she needed to finally get them out there, to let Tommy know just how strong her feelings were for him. 

Before Brianna could panic any further, and attempt to try and take those words back, she saw a smile spread across Tommy’s face, and a glint appear in his eye.

“Really?” he asked, making Brianna nod hesitantly. Tommy leaned even closer to Brianna, and whispered, “because I know I love you.”

Brianna could not help the small laugh that bubbled out of her, feeling such a sense of relief as Tommy confirmed his feelings for her. Tommy leaned back again, so he could look Brianna in the eye once again, so he could see the strong emotion coursing through them, making him sure in his words for her. 

“I love you,” Brianna repeated, leaving out any hesitancy this time, wanting Tommy to know she was a sure as him in her feelings for him. She loved him, there was no question of doubt in that. And he loved her, more than he thought he would ever love anybody after what he had been through. 

The two of them shared another small kiss, and could feel the love in that small display of affection. And they knew they would love each other for as long as they were given, which would hopefully be a very long time.


End file.
